New Bigelow Prize Competition!

[Ben Iscatus]

The Bilgelow Institute has invited essays for its new Prize Competition:
Primitive Creation Myths and Ancient Oracles.
First prize: Ten bitcoins (Value at 1 April 2022)

I thought the Steiner boys needed a primitive creation myth to broaden their appeal, so here's my hopeful entry:

Treasure Hunters diving in an area purported to be the subterranean ruins of Ancient Atlantis have discovered stone tablets chiselled with hieroglyphics. They reveal the earliest ever creation myth and oracle. It is a truly astonishing find! Translation by renowned Atlantis scholar, Sir Elton Freud.

Swirling bodilessly in the spiritual void were the ten lords and ladies of existence. These were the proto-beings known as Lord Time (sometimes incorrectly called Time Lord), Lady Space, Lord Energy, Lady Matter, Lady Gravity, Lord Willing, Lady Perceiving, Lady Feeling, Lord Sensation and Lord Thinking.

They bickered for a while, creating Chaos, but then decided to co-operate (at least some of the time). Lord Energy and Lady Matter even got spliced: a marriage truly made in Heaven! Their wedding was a really Big Bash (not to be misrepresented as a really Big Bang).

After the wedding bash, Time, Space, Energy, Matter and Gravity went off to create an orderly universe, evolving a primitive substance called hydrogen, then galaxies with stars and planets. Lord Thinking was consulted a bit in the design process, but once that was done, he grew bored and went off to do his own thing, refining himself into reason, imagination, intuition and inspiration. At this point, he considered himself properly qualified to appoint himself boss and CEO over them all.

Meanwhile, Willing, Perceiving, Feeling and Sensation had been sitting on their arses. Lord Thinking approached them and said, "Shouldn't you lot be doing something?". Galvanized by Thinking's new-found authority and gravitas, they went off to see Lady Matter and Lord Energy, who reluctantly found them a location to get their act together.

Lord Thinking came back a while later, and saw their pathetic efforts: shapeless beings groping in the slime on a godforsaken planet at the edge of a provincial galaxy. He sighed and got involved, asking Lord Time to order a proper evolutionary process for life on Earth, just as he had for the universe as a whole. He commanded Lord Willing and his workshy mates to fashion lizards into something worthwhile. After millions of years of hard labour, they created fantastic monsters called dinosaurs. They proudly presented their results to Lord Thinking. Unfortunately for them, Thinking was horrified. He promptly ordered Lady Gravity and the Lady Matter to nuke the whole lot with an asteroid..

Lord Thinking then brought Willing, Perceiving, Feeling and Sensation into line, forcing them to work harder on the mammals. Eventually, they created monkeys and then humans. The culmination of their efforts was a human being called Steiner. Lord Thinking looked at him and (finally!) was well chuffed. He incorporated himself fully into this Steiner avatar and took over his whole being, inspiring him to write dozens of books, many of which show that Thinking is the spiritual activity par excellence and the power at the heart of reality. A great future for all genuine thinking beings was predicted.

Lord Thinking then asked Lord Time to take him back to Atlantis to position this stone tablet as a creation myth and oracle for discovery at the right time - when the Sixth Root Race was being born.

The End


Wish me luck!

[Soul_of_Shu]

Too bad this wasn't available when BK wrote chapter 2 of More Than Allegory, titled: The Rich Colors of Mythical Life

[AshvinP]

Lord Thinking then asked Lord Time to take him back to Atlantis to position this stone tablet as a creation myth and oracle for discovery at the right time - when the Sixth Root Race was being born.

The End


Wish me luck!

Nice one

You should be careful, though. In some jurisdictions, making representations on behalf of an organization will create an implicit agency relationship, and anyone who reasonably relies on such relationship to their detriment could then go after the organization under a theory of quantum meruit, who can then go after you personally for contribution.

[Ben Iscatus]

Indeed! Did you notice that "Sir Elton Freud "is a mystical anagram?

[Cleric K]

Swirling bodilessly in the spiritual void were the ten lords and ladies of existence. These were the proto-beings known as Lord Time (sometimes incorrectly called Time Lord), Lady Space, Lord Energy, Lady Matter, Lady Gravity, Lord Willing, Lady Perceiving, Lady Feeling, Lord Sensation and Lord Thinking.

It's nearly perfect but misses one important detail:
In the beginning, there was nothing. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and split it into the ten lords and ladies of existence.

[Soul_of_Shu]

Indeed! Did you notice that "Sir Elton Freud "is a mystical anagram?

It's early here, still dazed by the dreamtime, you'll have to help me out, since the anagram solver app was of no use, 'outfielders' being as close as it got ... Something to do with Steiner I'm guessing?

[Ben Iscatus]

It's nearly perfect but misses one important detail:
In the beginning, there was nothing. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and split it into the ten lords and ladies of existence.

Ah, drat! Prize lost, then.

It's early here, still dazed by the dreamtime, you'll have to help me out, since the anagram solver app was of no use, 'outfielders' being as close as it got ... Something to do with Steiner I'm guessing?

Well you got the second name, Dana!!

[Martin_]

Swirling bodilessly in the spiritual void were the ten lords and ladies of existence. These were the proto-beings known as Lord Time (sometimes incorrectly called Time Lord), Lady Space, Lord Energy, Lady Matter, Lady Gravity, Lord Willing, Lady Perceiving, Lady Feeling, Lord Sensation and Lord Thinking.

It's nearly perfect but misses one important detail:
In the beginning, there was nothing. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and split it into the ten lords and ladies of existence.

brilliant.

[Soul_of_Shu]

Well you got the second name, Dana!!

Fook Of course, so obvious now that the morning coffee has kicked in.