Federica wrote: ↑Mon Jan 30, 2023 10:47 pmAshvinP wrote: ↑Mon Jan 30, 2023 8:59 pmFederica wrote: ↑Sun Jan 29, 2023 5:09 pm Another quite humbling experience I’ve had just this morning upon waking up, is this. I was thinking about the candle flame, which led me to the recent memory of staring at the flames in a big fireplace, intensely burning throughout all the logs. As I was visualizing the memory, the light suddenly became many times brighter, like an incredibly strong revolving sphere of light, becoming brighter and brighter. Confronted with this, all I could do was to be scared and 'look away', interrupting the thought. Yet another demonstration of how much of a complete beginner I still am, lacking even the minimal level of courage to remain there, and how much I need to work and exercise.
Federica,
That's an interesting occurrence and I would say it is a sign of progress. What you describe is a very familiar experience for me as well. I have frequently felt a sort of recoiling away when my concentration deepens to the point where light-phenomena are manifesting intensely within the inner volume, or generally when the thought-concentration takes on a life of its own, as it were. This should be an indication to us that we are actually managing to develop our germinal astral senses. Imagine someone suddenly showed up at your house and transported you to a facility where you were placed into a rocket and launched into the Earth's upper atmosphere without much preparation. It is only natural to lack courage and long for the firm ground of the Earth in such a situation!
With devoted preparation, we will eventually acclimate ourselves to the higher strata of consciousness, although it will continue to be an ongoing work. I have even noticed how, when things seem to be going the most smoothly for my spiritual practice, is exactly when I take it for granted, let the guard down, and slip back into old conditioned habits of the lower nature. We are frequently engaged in various forms of self-sabotage in this manner. Prayer is naturally what I find as the best tool for instilling the spirit of courage to resist the constantly tempting lower nature. For ex. we could inscribe Psalm 23 onto our hearts and have it at the ready.
The LORD is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
He restores my soul;
He guides me in the paths of righteousness
for the sake of His name.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.Federica wrote:In general, in terms of preparation exercises, I doubt that looking at a flame, or thinking of it, can have a calming effect for me. The rare times I felt I needed to calm down, what I found extremely effective is the Klocek-inspired exercise of intently observing a simple object for a few minutes. I was amazed how drastically effective it was, maybe it can work similarly for others too. In this connection, the “Is this I?” exercise sounds ideal for me, even as a 'main exercise' in line with the previously mentioned attempts to ‘delocalize’, or expand, from the physical body, by thinking of it from a supposedly external perspective. I will paste here Cleric’s version, the Will-Feeling-Thinking calibration exercise. I hadn’t paid enough attention to it when it was posted, thanks for the appropriate reminder!
Right, well it's all about experimentation and trial-error in this domain. There are practically infinite ways to approach it so we should find a routine which is suited to our individual needs and circumstances, perhaps throwing in some variation at times along the way if it starts to feel too monotonous. I'm very interested to hear how things progress for you with these exercises, which I am sure that I can learn from as well.
Thanks for the suggestions, Ashvin. I have actually come to much appreciate the moments of prayer, that are probably the only thing I 'naturally' stick to, and do every day. As for the exercises, there are so many... it's necessary to create a reasonable routine, as you say. I haven't been systematic so far, but now I really feel I want, and have to, get organized. The 'problem' for me is that when I sit down with the intention to do a concentration exercise, nothing ever happens. I do the vowel exercise, not every day, but frequently. I feel I get better at it, managing the ‘breath interference’ well, most often it feels fluid, but that's it. (I know expectations are not helpful. This is not the mindset I have, and I quite enjoy the exercise).
Still, the few times something of a different quality has happened, as yesterday with the visualization of light, I was just thinking. Intensely thinking, maybe with eyes closed, but without any 'exercising intention', only lifted by very good will and feelings. But I keep in mind how perseverance and method would count in the long run. Sure, I will tell you what exercises or meditations I incorporate and how it goes!
Unless I'm wrong, a few would probably not be of particular interest to you. For example, a question that I have recently started to explore and want to work on, because it applies to my circumstances, is how to 'descend' into, or become more conscious of, the meaning of 'mechanistic' music, and what learning can be extracted from it. This is simply because I have recently started instructing new workouts, and I don't decide the music. I have to learn them and run them on standardized music that I am pretty sure would rank at the worst possible places in terms of compatibility with the spiritual path And I am listening to a lot of it these days. Anyway, should anything emerge from exercise or meditation in that connection or in any other, I'll let you know.