On the Given World-Picture (or 'sensuous manifold')

[AshvinP]

Let's start with something else. This following exercise may sound very trivial, even insultingly so, but I just want to make sure we are on the same page concerning the inner experience of cognitive activity before continuing.

We can forget the triangle image. Pick a random point, say, the corner of the table, and hold your attention still at it for a few seconds, then move to another point. It’s not important what the object is – it acts only as an anchor point. Try to feel the act of focusing your attention.

Then, after you get a good feel for this, try with eyes closed and focus your attention at random points. The eyes are closed only to avoid distractions, you are in the same room space. You can also think of it as, instead of closing your eyes, the lights simply go down. Then you focus your attention at the space where, for example, the chair should be, the table, and so on. But this is only for reference. In reality, you need not try to imagine anything at the points of focus. At the center of the experiment is the very act of pointing your ray of attention at various points in space. You can also try something more advanced like smoothly moving the focus of your attention in circular, spiral, rectangular, etc. paths.

Now after you do this experiment, I guess you would agree that what you experience is entirely your willed movement of the focused attentional activity within empty space. Is that an accurate characterization of the inner experience?

Sorry for bumping this topic. I just wanted to point out that this specific exercise by Ashvin was the one that helped me succeeding the Inner Space Pt. 1 exercise by Cleric.

Well, at this point of the discussion, I think that I was basically copying and pasting things Cleric had proposed before

But yes, it's amazing what a little bit of concentrated effort to feel our inner movements can help us do, the new degrees of freedom it can help us attain. Such inner experiences can then set off a positive feedback spiral, as our 'densified' inner gestures begin to render the ideal landscape we probe in our intellectual inquiries as more expansive and substantial, as overlapping more with the wisdom communicated by the spiritual seers of all ages. Then the sharp divide between 'intellectual thinking' and 'exact clairvoyance' begins to loosen and diffuse, such that we can intuit how our thoughts about reality testify to the contextual constraints of the ideal flow.

Since you attained your initial success with the inner stretching, have you noticed any other inner developments in the following weeks (which you don't mind sharing)?

[Kaje977]

Well, at this point of the discussion, I think that I was basically copying and pasting things Cleric had proposed before

But yes, it's amazing what a little bit of concentrated effort to feel our inner movements can help us do, the new degrees of freedom it can help us attain. Such inner experiences can then set off a positive feedback spiral, as our 'densified' inner gestures begin to render the ideal landscape we probe in our intellectual inquiries as more expansive and substantial, as overlapping more with the wisdom communicated by the spiritual seers of all ages. Then the sharp divide between 'intellectual thinking' and 'exact clairvoyance' begins to loosen and diffuse, such that we can intuit how our thoughts about reality testify to the contextual constraints of the ideal flow.

Since you attained your initial success with the inner stretching, have you noticed any other inner developments in the following weeks (which you don't mind sharing)?

Hello, Ashvin.
Well, I didn't notice any real progress in the weeks that followed. To be more precise, things went in the opposite direction for me. For some reason, my perception receded again. So the “unwiggling of the physical kernel” retracted again. I described it to Cleric like this:

"Now I notice that this state of inner gestures seems to be gradually flattening out again, i.e. it no longer feels as "clear" as before. By "clear", I mean that the degree of awareness of this state is slowly returning to my usual previous state. I can still induce the state and be aware of the inner gestures, but the clarity no longer seems to be the same as it was a few days ago. I don't know exactly what it has to do with, but here I come to my motive: my original question feels answered. The moment the exercise worked, I felt a lot emotionally (spiritually) inside, I was emotionally overwhelmed and euphoric, cried even: the questions that thousands of philosophers couldn't answer were suddenly "answered", or more precisely, I now not only read about this new direction intellectually, but also actually experienced it alive and can vividly feel that there is a direction to go. And this is exactly where I seem to be "stuck" now, so to speak. My mind still wants to delve deeper, to begin the spiritual journey, the Hero's Journey but my soul now seems to be satisfied in the sense of: "Okay, so spiritual science is true, there is more. The direction exists. Done. Back to usual""

In a certain sense, one could say that I did end up leaving the waiting room, but only to return to it later, after having witnessed that behind it is the real deal, or better: It felt like a "touristic" trip. You carry along certain gifts and souvenirs (=> certain inner gestures) and I can repeatedly awaken them, but no new experiences seem to be added since instead of "seeking the experience anew, we try to experience it by remembering what it was previously", as Cleric put it bluntly. Basically, I was merely curious while I did that exercise, I wasn't really seeking although I do know, in myself, that I truly want to walk the Hero's Journey. I just don't really feel ready yet due to certain issues in my Soul.

Another issue concerns my Soul. Specifically, certain negative characteristics and a very powerful astral parasite (Bardon usually refers to them as “larvae” and “phantoms”), as I have (unfortunately) nourished this parasite for many, many years through certain habits. Previously, I attempted to address this through brute force (i.e., willpower), but this did not yield significant results. So I tried to change my environment a little so that I would no longer resort to said habit. However, I then realized that this was only delaying the inevitable, and it became clear to me that the change in my soul really had to come from deep within myself, so that I myself (metaphorically) would no longer be attracted to anything in the “space of desires” or, if I felt the "pull" I would no longer allow myself to be tempted.

Recently, I managed to go without it for several days again, despite the urge. I then practiced consciously observing trigger moments as regular feedback on how my instincts react to them. This allowed me to understand the feeling of being “pulled” a little more vividly and precisely.

So, in general, as of now, I'm currently very focused on Soul aspects, so I haven't really managed to get to the exercises.