Philosophical Speculations

Unfortunately, I suffer from a disadvantaged working memory. By this I mean the difficulty of keeping several pieces of information in my head at the same time. This presents a difficult hurdle for me in everyday life, but also in understanding spiritual and philosophical topics. I have observed myself to see exactly how this happens in my case:

-1.) I become aware of my perception; everything around me evokes a feeling of familiarity. I am not yet thinking consciously about the things I perceive, I am simply "aware" of the existence of these phenomena. Even if I am not consciously reflecting on a particular perception, the entire sensory diversity seems familiar, known, and "waiting" to be examined more deeply. So even if I am not actively thinking about something, e.g., the pencil on my table, I still know, vaguely and superficially: That there, in my perception, is familiar to me, aka: I could examine it further if I wanted to.

0.) I now open a book or an e-book and begin to read. Here, too, the same thing happens: the individual sensory moments seem familiar, the letters, the print, the book, the black on the white background, the rectangularity of the paper, the slightly smooth or rough feeling when my fingers run along the paper, the sound the paper makes when I turn the page, the smell of the paper, etc. I then feel my intention: to read what is written in the book. And with the intention of understanding what I read. Within myself, I awaken a concept for each of these concentrated observations of the signs, the sign concept and, more deeply, a word concept, which in turn carries something within itself with which I actively produce the meaning of what I read. From perception and concept, I now connect the two so that meaning emerges (for me).

1.) When I read a text, I hear my verbal thoughts in my head (as an “inner monologue”). I also perceive the meaning of the words (mentally) and “understand” what the author's sentence says. But this is where it gets strange: my working memory can hold less information than average. I “understand” the sentence, but I don't understand the deeper context of the entire text or section. I seem to retain only few certain sentences fragmentarily in my head (mainly those that leave a particular impression on me emotionally) and then link the few that remain in my working memory. But then I have to read the text over and over again and realize that I don't remember enough in the short term (short-term memory). Very frustrating.

This lack of working memory capacity that I have is associated with ADHD in “modern”, more materialistically oriented medicine and psychology (I was also diagnosed with it as a child). But I don't think that can be the whole answer. The worst thing to hear is when people keep reminding one that there's no cure for ADHD. That it is all fixed. Sure, I can appreciate if people like to live that way. But I don't believe that we're just "fixed" in our being. I do think we can change. I do think we can improve. I've seen people who suffered from aphantasia, the inability to see images in their mind. I remember when many said that it is incurable. Then, a random user came along, opened the subreddit r/CureAphantasia and provided techniques that actually helped people to see images in their mind for the first time ever. The mind is amazing in what it can achieve. And that's why I believe that the disadvantages of ADHD can be overcome, or at least, transformed in such a way that I get capable of doing what most people in daily life can do: Simple mental tasks to tackle daily life.

And by this, I notice that my poor working memory causes a significant deficiency in everyday life: I am slow at mental arithmetic and can therefore only keep a few numbers in my head while I am doing mental arithmetic. My soul state has a significant impact on my working memory (e.g., I calculate even worse under pressure than when I am calm and relaxed) . In everyday life, when shopping, I am often forgetful and keep forgetting little things. Even if I put an object down somewhere on a table, for example, after a few minutes I forget where I last put it and then search for it in frustration, only to finally find it and think to myself, “Oh, that's where I put it!”. It has become an annoyance to people around me, often ostracizing me for being too forgetful or 'lazy' in my thinking. I did take offense at first, but I realized: They're right. Things need to change, and I, myself, want it.

It is very frustrating and disrupts my entire daily routine. What other people seem to manage effortlessly is a mammoth task for me every day. Even livingly imagining how it's like to be a bartender, having to memorize all the orders in head and later bringing the food to the correct tables that ordered them is, from my perspective, astonishing and mind-boggling. If I attempt that, to livingly experience how it is like to be a bartender, I fail already in just remembering two orders.

Is there any way I can improve my working memory? Are there ways in which anthroposophy can support me here? I can see that my soul state seems to have an influence on what I need to remember (maybe I need to increase my enthusiasm?), but even when I am completely calm, my working memory is below average. On the other hand, and this is just as strange, I seem to be extremely good at understanding concepts and grasping them deeply. So I am good at explaining topics to others or making them understandable. But when it comes to becoming “mentally practical” e.g., mental arithmetic, other mental tasks (logic puzzles, for example) or similar (mental rotation and the like), and everything that is mentally indirectly related to physical activities (crafts) (e.g., I watch someone build a small wooden hut, but I fail to remember the steps and often have to look at the small steps repeatedly before I can build the first step; other people look at it and can immediately copy it).

Interestingly, I just found this:

One method that seems to improve working memory is called Dual N-Back. Basically, Dual N-Back training is a mind training exercise that aims to improve working memory and concentration. "Dual" means that two different types of stimuli must be processed simultaneously: one visual and one auditory. "N-back" refers to how many steps (N) you have to remember in a sequence.

1-Back: You have to remember whether the current position of the square OR the current letter matches the position or letter of the previous step.

2-Back: The challenge increases. You now have to decide whether the current position or letter matches those of two steps ago. This means you have to keep the information from the last two rounds in your mind.

3-Back: Here it gets even more challenging. You compare the current position and letter with those from three steps ago.
Etc.

Doing a Dual N' Back exercise with "Brain Workshop" program did show some improvements in the past, but I'm not sure how deep that goes and whether it really causes a "far transfer" to other fields and not this exercise alone. The main issue seems to be to integrate the results received from the exercise to other fields. E.g. you're good at Dual N-Back but other daily tasks still fail to work with the improved working memory, because for some reason you're not forcefully met with the intuitive "resistance" you experience when doing Dual N-Back. So, you somehow need to willingly, actively cause this resistance within yourself (without the tool) which then brings back the feedback of the training experience.

Btw, the "resistance" (which is actually good, because that's where one needs to dive into, and from there navigate) is the thing blocking me to remember the previous hits, and by acknowledging and feeling that resistance you somehow learn to navigate it better and then attempt to improve, causing an improvement of remembering the previous steps better and better.

Here's a video of someone doing the exercise.


The point of this exercise is to not use any mnemonics or the like. You completely rely on your inner activity. What the guy is doing in the video is quite impressive, Dual 15-Back is pretty advanced. I don't aspire to go that far for now, but I at least want to get at least the capacity of Dual 5-Back. Dual 2-Back works quite well for me, but at Dual 3-Back it gets rather difficult to maintain.

There is for example this exercise given by Steiner that applies directly to what you describe:

Steiner wrote: Just consider the numerous cases in which people can never find where they put things. One has lost his pencil, another cannot find his cufflinks, etc., etc., all of which seems trivial but such things do, after all, occur often enough in life.

There is a good exercise for gradually curing such forgetfulness. Suppose, for example, a lady is forever putting her brooch down when she takes it off in the evening, and then cannot find it in the morning. You might think the best cure for her forgetfulness would be to remember to put it always in the same place. There is, however, a far more effective means of remembering where it is. This does not, of course, apply to all objects but in this case the lady should say to herself, “I will put my brooch in a different place each evening, but as I do so I will hold the thought in mind that I have put it in a particular spot. Then I will form a clear picture in my mind of all the surroundings. Having done this, I will go quietly away. I realize that if I only do this once, I probably will not succeed, but if I make a habit of it, I will find that my forgetfulness gradually disappears.”

This exercise is based on the fact that the person's ego is brought consciously into connection with the deed he does, and also that he forms a picture of it. Connecting the ego, that is, the spiritual kernel of man's being, in this way with a pictorial image, sharpens memory. Such an exercise can be quite useful in helping us to become less forgetful.

Further results can also be attained from such an exercise. When it becomes habit to hold such thoughts when things are put aside, it represents a strengthening of the etheric body, which, as we know, is the bearer of memory. But now assume you have advised someone to do this exercise not because he is forgetful but because he is nervous. It will prove to be an excellent cure. His etheric body will be strengthened and the nervous tendencies will disappear. In such cases, life itself demonstrates that what spiritual science teaches is correct.

From Overcoming Nervousness - GA 143

Retreived from the Rudolf Steiner Archive

Kaje977 wrote: ↑Thu Sep 25, 2025 3:43 pm Is there any way I can improve my working memory? Are there ways in which anthroposophy can support me here? I can see that my soul state seems to have an influence on what I need to remember (maybe I need to increase my enthusiasm?), but even when I am completely calm, my working memory is below average. On the other hand, and this is just as strange, I seem to be extremely good at understanding concepts and grasping them deeply. So I am good at explaining topics to others or making them understandable. But when it comes to becoming “mentally practical” e.g., mental arithmetic, other mental tasks (logic puzzles, for example) or similar (mental rotation and the like), and everything that is mentally indirectly related to physical activities (crafts) (e.g., I watch someone build a small wooden hut, but I fail to remember the steps and often have to look at the small steps repeatedly before I can build the first step; other people look at it and can immediately copy it).

Kaje,

I'm not sure if you ever got into playing the game of chess, but I have picked it up recently. Let me say that I am not using it to memorize too many openings or specific move orders, or specifically to improve memory. Such standard positions will inevitably take shape in our memory after we play many games, but my conscious aim has been to figure out where to place the pieces much more intuitively. Many master-level chess commentators also highlight how it's generally counterproductive to try and memorize the move orders to begin with. Instead, we need to develop contextual ideas in terms of reaching certain favorable board states in any given position, and then try to loosely feel out what kind of moves may bring the ideas to fulfillment. These ideas we are feeling our way through are, of course, not static but quite dynamic, since their 'texture' continually changes as the opponent reacts to our moves. Sometimes they will remain relatively stable, but other times they will have to be scrapped entirely and replaced with a new idea. Sometimes we will need to make precise calculations for many moves out, which of course can be utilized as an exercise in concentration and also visualization of the potential board states.

The main point is that the more we intuitively feel our way through these chess experiences, the more that working memory of the board positions develops as a natural byproduct. The memorization is not something that we need to specifically seek from the beginning and it could even be counterproductive to do so. It is very similar to the principle expressed in Federica's quote of Steiner, in that sense. I have also noticed a similar thing happening when intuitively feeling my way through the characteristic principles and dynamics of my imaginative process with the anchoring help of Steiner's lectures and the posts on this forum. After some time, various details from the lectures and posts naturally arise into my consciousness when I am exploring the relevant intuitions, as if the latter magnetically attracts them into patterns around my contemplative state like iron filings. In that sense, it may not make much of a difference whether we are playing chess, studying phenomenology, or anything similar with our imaginative life, as long as we consciously orient toward a more intuitive approach and let the working memory improve as a natural consequence. In this way, our memories may also become more relevant to our deeper tasks in life, whereas otherwise we may be struggling to remember a million facts which feel to help with what we desire to do, but have little relevance for our deeper soul being and its aims.