For me, annihiliation was something that at least had the promise of not suffering. Eternal existence is synonimous with the potential prospect of eternal suffering. But even a non-suffering eternal existence is terrifying to me - no final rest, no end, just striving and striving again and again, running around in circles... Unless of course there are states of transcendence that involve a kind of "checking out", like with Nirvana or Moksha.tjssailor wrote: ↑Sun Feb 27, 2022 3:08 pmFor me annihilation was the most horrifying prospect leading to panic attacks and terrible anxiety. All loss of meaning. The realization that I'm not an individual and consciousness is not being created by my brain brought some relief. In the end it's just awakening to your true nature so there is nothing to fear.Hedge90 wrote: ↑Sat Feb 26, 2022 10:57 pm Honestly, even though at first idealism simply seemed like an interesting yet surprisingly logical ontology, the more I thought about it the more existential anxiety welled up in me. I'm at the point where I'd happily "convert" back to physicalism if I could still believe it to be true, which I cannot.
Do you experience any similar issues? If so, how do you cope?
I suggest you immerse yourself in the experiential, NDEs. mystic experiences, etc. The more of those you absorb the better you will probably feel.
As to your last point, well, there's no shortage of terrifying mystical and NDE experiences either. We just tend to screen for the positive ones. St. John of the Cross spent 45 years in his own personal hell before he made it to the other side.