"The Myth of Normal"

[Federica]

Federica,

I should add that if all you are saying is that, with human beings always come risks, I can hardly disagree. But this is also true in regard to "fallen" or corrupted notions of Moral action. A century ago, eugenics was quite fashionable with proponents including leading intellectuals, conservationists, philosophers, academics, business lumaries and even advocates for women and the handicapped. It is astonishing to read the moral support given by the blind and deaf Helen Keller. During those times, under that moral fashion, two-thirds of the US states had pro-eugenics laws (the last of which was only removed this century) and some 66,000 sterilizations without consent were performed in the US. So, yes, there are risks.

Lou, who would not recognize that all sorts of horrors have been inflicted in human history in the name of morality? This is not what we were discussing. Nor have I argued that Maté “portrays toxic normal as ok” or that he “offers excuses”. I guess you know what I was arguing by now. That is, there’s great value, often unsuspected value, in taking an active inner stance in the face of trauma. In my opinion, such a message - with its corollary of help, encouragement and compassion - is the most beneficial to the victims of trauma. The message we hear in this video is certainly relevant to policy makers, sociologists, academics, activists, journalists, etc. but not as much to traumatized people.

[Lou Gold]

Federica,

I should add that if all you are saying is that, with human beings always come risks, I can hardly disagree. But this is also true in regard to "fallen" or corrupted notions of Moral action. A century ago, eugenics was quite fashionable with proponents including leading intellectuals, conservationists, philosophers, academics, business lumaries and even advocates for women and the handicapped. It is astonishing to read the moral support given by the blind and deaf Helen Keller. During those times, under that moral fashion, two-thirds of the US states had pro-eugenics laws (the last of which was only removed this century) and some 66,000 sterilizations without consent were performed in the US. So, yes, there are risks.

Lou, who would not recognize that all sorts of horrors have been inflicted in human history in the name of morality? This is not what we were discussing. Nor have I argued that Maté “portrays toxic normal as ok” or that he “offers excuses”. I guess you know what I was arguing by now. That is, there’s great value, often unsuspected value, in taking an active inner stance in the face of trauma. In my opinion, such a message - with its corollary of help, encouragement and compassion - is the most beneficial to the victims of trauma. The message we hear in this video is certainly relevant to policy makers, sociologists, academics, activists, journalists, etc. but not as much to traumatized people.

Well, sure we agree in those areas of policy, etc but Maté's actual healing work has been with traumatized people and this is precisely where his healing skills and perspectives have been particularly useful. However, as Dana used to love to point out, the butterfly emerges when it is its time to emerge. There's a lot more than individual personal will going on.

[Federica]

Federica,

I should add that if all you are saying is that, with human beings always come risks, I can hardly disagree. But this is also true in regard to "fallen" or corrupted notions of Moral action. A century ago, eugenics was quite fashionable with proponents including leading intellectuals, conservationists, philosophers, academics, business lumaries and even advocates for women and the handicapped. It is astonishing to read the moral support given by the blind and deaf Helen Keller. During those times, under that moral fashion, two-thirds of the US states had pro-eugenics laws (the last of which was only removed this century) and some 66,000 sterilizations without consent were performed in the US. So, yes, there are risks.

Lou, who would not recognize that all sorts of horrors have been inflicted in human history in the name of morality? This is not what we were discussing. Nor have I argued that Maté “portrays toxic normal as ok” or that he “offers excuses”. I guess you know what I was arguing by now. That is, there’s great value, often unsuspected value, in taking an active inner stance in the face of trauma. In my opinion, such a message - with its corollary of help, encouragement and compassion - is the most beneficial to the victims of trauma. The message we hear in this video is certainly relevant to policy makers, sociologists, academics, activists, journalists, etc. but not as much to traumatized people.

Well, sure we agree in those areas of policy, etc but Maté's actual healing work has been with traumatized people and this is precisely where his healing skills and perspectives have been particularly useful. However, as Dana used to love to point out, the butterfly emerges when it is its time to emerge. There's a lot more than individual personal will going on.

Aha? : ) Here we are again. Ok, Lou, I can tell you again. I know you want to hear it, otherwise you wouldn’t be here and commenting the way you do. With all due respect, this recalcitrant butterfly busying itself with the 101 diverse ways to remain chrysalis is both the greatest misunderstanding and the real reason why you are here. A part of you knows that, and wants to hear it. It’s not too late to outgrow the misunderstanding - which would be your next objection: “I am last stage old”. Unfortunately / fortunately, the direction of traffic can be inverted in one instant inner gesture. So how do you feel (apart from annoyed)?

[Lou Gold]

Lou, who would not recognize that all sorts of horrors have been inflicted in human history in the name of morality? This is not what we were discussing. Nor have I argued that Maté “portrays toxic normal as ok” or that he “offers excuses”. I guess you know what I was arguing by now. That is, there’s great value, often unsuspected value, in taking an active inner stance in the face of trauma. In my opinion, such a message - with its corollary of help, encouragement and compassion - is the most beneficial to the victims of trauma. The message we hear in this video is certainly relevant to policy makers, sociologists, academics, activists, journalists, etc. but not as much to traumatized people.

Well, sure we agree in those areas of policy, etc but Maté's actual healing work has been with traumatized people and this is precisely where his healing skills and perspectives have been particularly useful. However, as Dana used to love to point out, the butterfly emerges when it is its time to emerge. There's a lot more than individual personal will going on.

Aha? : ) Here we are again. Ok, Lou, I can tell you again. I know you want to hear it, otherwise you wouldn’t be here and commenting the way you do. With all due respect, this recalcitrant butterfly busying itself with the 101 diverse ways to remain chrysalis is both the greatest misunderstanding and the real reason why you are here. A part of you knows that, and wants to hear it. It’s not too late to outgrow the misunderstanding - which would be your next objection: “I am last stage old”. Unfortunately / fortunately, the direction of traffic can be inverted in one instant inner gesture. So how do you feel (apart from annoyed)?

Federica, this is truly exasperating. I have been circulating the Maté video among people I know who have done serious recovery-from-trauma work. I just heard from a dear friend who has completed a very difficult recovery process. She reported, "I agree with everything that he says." Additionally, I can report, from my own deep first person work and experience, that I also agree. So please share with us a fuller disclosure. Have you done deep trauma recovery work and do you report that Maté was not helpful to you? If not, I must harshly report that your commentary seems as idle abstract 3rd person logical nitpicking to me. So, what's your your first person report? Was Maté unhelpful to your recovery?

[Lou Gold]

Federica, As usual your provocations are useful in my storytelling process. They move me to fuller disclosure. I am not here "in search" or to offer an argument. I am here to bare witness, to offer a personal testament. My “I am last stage old” is literal. In May 2021, my progressive congenital heart disorder was diagnosed as last stage (6 months and only palliative care). In August 2021, I was told by my doctor that my situation was "imminent". My testament is that this last stage is, for me, the best school (learning experience) that I've encountered. Without hyperbole I can report that I'm a "happy camper" humbled and grateful for such a blessing. I can also report that several years ago, while contemplating my coming 80th birthday and before I had this medical diagnosis/prognosis, I intuitively wrote this poem:

Perhaps

Perhaps because a lifetime is short 
and because I’ve entered my end zone
Each day seems more and more 
a good day to die, meaning to live well
 
I see the necessity, in this final phase,
to know death as a friend, as an ally toward happiness
Perhaps like a lover urgent with the desire
to birth new life into the world


Perhaps this is why I have such an urge 
to create, to be a maker while I can 
Does dying arrive this way, at first 
as an urgent lover? 


Perhaps the desire is for happiness, the real kind 
Not the kind that comes from shopping 
Like new life, real happiness comes from what is created
A giving more than a getting, offered with joy


Perhaps something better can be created
That possibility always captures my heart
Perhaps the best that happens is made together
Like a work party or a festa of children


Perhaps I and it are meant to be that way, filled by play
I’m not sure but certainty is not necessary 
The promise of perhaps 
is enough to hold my heart in a happy way

[Federica]

Federica, As usual your provocations are useful in my storytelling process. They move me to fuller disclosure. I am not here "in search" or to offer an argument. I am here to bare witness, to offer a personal testament. My “I am last stage old” is literal. In May 2021, my progressive congenital heart disorder was diagnosed as last stage (6 months and only palliative care). In August 2021, I was told by my doctor that my situation was "imminent". My testament is that this last stage is, for me, the best school (learning experience) that I've encountered. Without hyperbole I can report that I'm a "happy camper" humbled and grateful for such a blessing. I can also report that several years ago, while contemplating my coming 80th birthday and before I had this medical diagnosis/prognosis, I intuitively wrote this poem:

Perhaps

Perhaps because a lifetime is short 
and because I’ve entered my end zone
Each day seems more and more 
a good day to die, meaning to live well
 
I see the necessity, in this final phase,
to know death as a friend, as an ally toward happiness
Perhaps like a lover urgent with the desire
to birth new life into the world


Perhaps this is why I have such an urge 
to create, to be a maker while I can 
Does dying arrive this way, at first 
as an urgent lover? 


Perhaps the desire is for happiness, the real kind 
Not the kind that comes from shopping 
Like new life, real happiness comes from what is created
A giving more than a getting, offered with joy


Perhaps something better can be created
That possibility always captures my heart
Perhaps the best that happens is made together
Like a work party or a festa of children


Perhaps I and it are meant to be that way, filled by play
I’m not sure but certainty is not necessary 
The promise of perhaps 
is enough to hold my heart in a happy way

Lou, I am seeing your post now. Thank you for your disclosure. I want to give it all the attention I am capable of, before coming back to you.

[Lou Gold]

Federica, As usual your provocations are useful in my storytelling process. They move me to fuller disclosure. I am not here "in search" or to offer an argument. I am here to bare witness, to offer a personal testament. My “I am last stage old” is literal. In May 2021, my progressive congenital heart disorder was diagnosed as last stage (6 months and only palliative care). In August 2021, I was told by my doctor that my situation was "imminent". My testament is that this last stage is, for me, the best school (learning experience) that I've encountered. Without hyperbole I can report that I'm a "happy camper" humbled and grateful for such a blessing. I can also report that several years ago, while contemplating my coming 80th birthday and before I had this medical diagnosis/prognosis, I intuitively wrote this poem:

Perhaps

Perhaps because a lifetime is short 
and because I’ve entered my end zone
Each day seems more and more 
a good day to die, meaning to live well
 
I see the necessity, in this final phase,
to know death as a friend, as an ally toward happiness
Perhaps like a lover urgent with the desire
to birth new life into the world


Perhaps this is why I have such an urge 
to create, to be a maker while I can 
Does dying arrive this way, at first 
as an urgent lover? 


Perhaps the desire is for happiness, the real kind 
Not the kind that comes from shopping 
Like new life, real happiness comes from what is created
A giving more than a getting, offered with joy


Perhaps something better can be created
That possibility always captures my heart
Perhaps the best that happens is made together
Like a work party or a festa of children


Perhaps I and it are meant to be that way, filled by play
I’m not sure but certainty is not necessary 
The promise of perhaps 
is enough to hold my heart in a happy way

Lou, I am seeing your post now. Thank you for your disclosure. I want to give it all the attention I am capable of, before coming back to you.

OK! Please take your time and notice that I offered two post responses to your critical comments. Thank you for putting your best into this.

[Federica]

Federica, As usual your provocations are useful in my storytelling process. They move me to fuller disclosure. I am not here "in search" or to offer an argument. I am here to bare witness, to offer a personal testament. My “I am last stage old” is literal. In May 2021, my progressive congenital heart disorder was diagnosed as last stage (6 months and only palliative care). In August 2021, I was told by my doctor that my situation was "imminent". My testament is that this last stage is, for me, the best school (learning experience) that I've encountered. Without hyperbole I can report that I'm a "happy camper" humbled and grateful for such a blessing. I can also report that several years ago, while contemplating my coming 80th birthday and before I had this medical diagnosis/prognosis, I intuitively wrote this poem:

Perhaps

Perhaps because a lifetime is short 
and because I’ve entered my end zone
Each day seems more and more 
a good day to die, meaning to live well
 
I see the necessity, in this final phase,
to know death as a friend, as an ally toward happiness
Perhaps like a lover urgent with the desire
to birth new life into the world


Perhaps this is why I have such an urge 
to create, to be a maker while I can 
Does dying arrive this way, at first 
as an urgent lover? 


Perhaps the desire is for happiness, the real kind 
Not the kind that comes from shopping 
Like new life, real happiness comes from what is created
A giving more than a getting, offered with joy


Perhaps something better can be created
That possibility always captures my heart
Perhaps the best that happens is made together
Like a work party or a festa of children


Perhaps I and it are meant to be that way, filled by play
I’m not sure but certainty is not necessary 
The promise of perhaps 
is enough to hold my heart in a happy way

Lou, I am seeing your post now. Thank you for your disclosure. I want to give it all the attention I am capable of, before coming back to you.

OK! Please take your time and notice that I offered two post responses to your critical comments. Thank you for putting your best into this.

Lou,
I will now send you my response as a private message. You are welcome to put it partially or entirely in a public post, if this is integral, or in any way beneficial, to your wish of baring witness, and offering a personal testament in this forum.

[Lou Gold]

Lou, I am seeing your post now. Thank you for your disclosure. I want to give it all the attention I am capable of, before coming back to you.

OK! Please take your time and notice that I offered two post responses to your critical comments. Thank you for putting your best into this.

Lou,
I will now send you my response as a private message. You are welcome to put it partially or entirely in a public post, if this is integral, or in any way beneficial, to your wish of baring witness, and offering a personal testament in this forum.

Thank you, Federica. What a lovely message. Your understanding warms my heart.

I have no need to repost your message. I've been here just as a storyteller but, like fingerprints, we've all got our own story. As far as a personal testament is concerned, I'd just like folks to know that, as I said, dying is the best school yet. I'm surely not anticipating a future as I was 6 years ago in a prescient poem of "Perhaps," I've had a great life: climbed some hills and won some awards; fell off some cliffs and earned some scars. Looking back, the awards mean little and the scars are precious treasures -- great teachings.

I'm here now and enjoying the freedom to create and to be helpful toward others. The gift of being able to give is immense. Compassion is a joy of giving. I feel humbled and very happy. And, yes, I have a tremendous debt of gratitude to Santo Daime, its sacrament, rituals and living Doctrine of Jesus Christ and the Queen of the Forest. Beyond this, it seems as all just more commentary. I no longer feel a need to tell a big story. For this too, I am very grateful.

Love and light to all.

[Lou Gold]

Lou, I am seeing your post now. Thank you for your disclosure. I want to give it all the attention I am capable of, before coming back to you.

OK! Please take your time and notice that I offered two post responses to your critical comments. Thank you for putting your best into this.

Lou,
I will now send you my response as a private message. You are welcome to put it partially or entirely in a public post, if this is integral, or in any way beneficial, to your wish of baring witness, and offering a personal testament in this forum.

Thank you, Federica. What a lovely message. Your understanding warms my heart.

I have no need to repost your message. I've been here just as a storyteller but, like fingerprints, we've all got our own story. As far as a personal testament is concerned, I'd just like folks to know that, as I said, dying is the best school yet. I'm surely not anticipating a future as I was 6 years ago in a prescient poem of "Perhaps," I've had a great life: climbed some hills and won some awards; fell off some cliffs and earned some scars. Looking back, the awards mean little and the scars are precious treasures -- great teachings.

I'm here in Hawaiian paradise now and enjoying the freedom to create and to be helpful toward others. The gift of being able to give is immense. Compassion is a joy of giving. I feel humbled and very happy. And, yes, I have a tremendous debt of gratitude to Santo Daime, its sacrament, rituals and living Doctrine of Jesus Christ and the Queen of the Forest. Beyond this, it seems as all just more commentary. I no longer feel a need to tell a big story. For this too, I am very grateful.

Love and light to all.