Astral Arc (youtube series)

[Federica]

Thank you, Cleric, for these explanations. In fact I feel no inclination to find tricks to "attain to the other kind of images". What I experienced was not comparable to stucking the head in an anthill and see movement all around. The image was static. It rather felt like a breathtaking violation of mind space, as if it had been assailed and taken over by a thinking hacker. It didn't remotely cross my intentions to try to look into the image. I just tried to get myself out of that as strongly as I could, wondering if a second round was awaiting as soon as I would let myself fall asleep. You say that, of course, with proper training, this won't turn into a psychiartic condition. I don't doubt it really is a matter of course, but I'm not sure I want to play with this in the meantime that I understand what proper training is.

[AshvinP]

Thank you, Ashvin.
It seems that for now this understanding will remain veiled for me. I appreciate the quote from Tomberg, but the meditation on the higher self is the first one recommended by Steiner, I believe, at a point in development when Inspirative cognition has not yet been experienced, presumably. Moreover in the passage you share, Steiner is describing the possibility for a Master to instill thoughts in the bodies of a pupil, while in the passage I shared above, and in the one I am now adding below, he is giving practical recommendations for meditation. So I would imagine these are meant to be particularly clear and unequivocal. Finally, I have a hard time getting a sense of your idea of contact with the higher self happening by Grace, when one of the main themes of walking the Anthroposophic path, is for the free human being to take that initiative, which is also why Christ gifted us the I-consciousness. But, as said, I am not doubting your understanding. I am just saying why it seems off limits for me at this point.

Federica,

Once we see through the arbitrary spiritual tendency to place the higher Self behind some metaphysical boundary, an impenetrable veil, that simply justifies the lack of any effort and initiative, we have a different sort of understanding to attain and work to do. A more subtle and delicate understanding and work, so to speak. The veil to penetrate is our own soul-life, which is highly personalized and always inclining to evil. It is comprised of Maya conceptions of who we are and how our life unfolds, through and through. There is a kind of helplessness that we should feel in relation to our current personality and all its spiritual strivings. As St. Paul says, 

For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good. Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.

You may remember Eugene was also fond of quoting the above, but he located the source of this resistance in physical genetics (understood materialistically), i.e. in another sort of metaphysical boundary that justifies passive waiting for death to lift the veil. The real source is found within our intimate soul-life that can be worked upon during life, but only with the help of our greater Allies to whom we owe its origins and its development. That includes not only higher divinities such as Angels but also higher human individualities who we could say are halfway between normal humans and Angels. 

We should recognize that the goal of meditation is none other than for the Master(s) to 'instill thoughts' into our consciousness (through the central meditation of the Master Christ Jesus). It is fine to say and feel that we are seeking to unite with the higher self, but what does this mean for our striving in a practical context? Here we come back to what Cleric wrote with respect to the Unity of the "I" consisting at the same in a multiplicity of spiritual beings. The higher beings who weave together our I-consciousness are practically above/outside/beyond that I-consciousness we know as 'our own'. He also referenced that in the last post about the practically independent beings of the 'anthill' within our WFT life. 

The link of the I-consciousness bestowed through the Christ gift certainly gives us the ability to take initiative, i.e. to act as intelligent agencies steering the stream of becoming into the higher ideals of fully human existence. However, what that initiative has looked like in the horizontal forum of outer culture for the past 2,000 years and how it will be experienced within the vertical forum of our inner consciousness are, in a sense, polar opposites. That is why Tomberg writes:

Before this question can be answered, it is necessary to clarify the concepts of ‘passivity’ and ‘activity’ as applied to spiritual life. The ordinary meaning of these concepts is this: ‘activity’ refers to a consciousness in the state of ‘doing’, and ‘passivity’ refers to a consciousness in the state of ‘suffering’. This standpoint is entirely justified and useful when one has in mind the horizontal, the relationship of the human consciousness to its surroundings. However, if one is considering the vertical, that is, the relation of the incarnated human being to the spiritual world, then this standpoint is no longer valid. Then the opposite is true: the receptive attitude toward the spiritual world, the suffering and waiting, is the active side of the vertically upright consciousness, while the efforts of the will for the purpose of this or that exercise or task of cognition are the passive side. So, for instance, the words Christ Jesus spoke during the hour of Gethsemane: ‘Not my will, but Thy will be done,’ signify the highest possible activity of the vertically-directed consciousness. But this activity is not visible on the horizontal plane of life; there it appears as passive.

He goes on to write how certain coordination of the distinct lower and higher "I" activities become necessary, that is simultaneously active-passive. Steiner has many passages in the context of occult training that express something similar. For ex:

When we want to learn something about another person in the physical world, we go at it in whatever way seems necessary. But this we cannot do with the impression that calls for spirit peacefulness, calmness of soul, and patience. The attitude of soul towards the genuine impressions of the spiritual world is correctly described by saying,

To strive for nothing — wait in peaceful stillness,
one's inner being filled with expectation.
(The Soul's Awakening, Scene 3)

In a certain respect this frame of mind must stream out over the entire soul life in order to approach in the right way its clairvoyant experiences in the spirit.

What we can do is actively prepare the soil of our soul-life through cognitive and moral preparation so it is ready to receive the fructifying higher Spirit who descends into it as an act of Grace. So we should be clear that the intimate experience of higher knowledge is never something we will accomplish merely by working 'from below' upwards, whether through logical reasoning or moral willpower. It is, at the end of the day, continual acts of Grace from above that come to meet our upward striving and thereby render the latter fruitful. 

One could also rightly say that we are awakening to the symphonic co-operations that always take place to lift us out of the lower spheres of existence, even in the context of outer culture. We are never resisting temptations towards animality and such simply through the strength of our own feeling and thinking efforts. It is always seeds planted for us during the liminal periods of sleep that we are able to maintain a basic moral orientation in our waking consciousness, which we can then strengthen by becoming more inwardly aware of how that is actually taking place. In that sense, it is our initiative towards Self-awareness of what is already taking place that resides at the heart of all spiritual striving under the aegis of Christ. But how that higher awareness becomes manifest cannot be understood as only a matter of our own initiative. 

[Güney27]

Hey everyone.
What Federica described, I experienced in a similar way.
I try to pray the Lordsprayer every morning before I start the day. Yesterday I fell asleep while praying, but I kept praying. I was active at the beginning of the prayer, bringing up the lines, and then eventually became passive. I was briefly asleep and woke up (became conscious) at the end of the prayer. The frightening thing was that the prayer did not continue as it actually is, but rather evil thoughts took the place of the actual verses. I didn't actively bring up these thoughts, they were there of their own accord. Just writing about this experience is very difficult for me. When I think about it, I panic. I often struggle with negative thoughts. I doubt the correctness of my decision to plunge myself into deep meditation. I can remember martinus saying that it's dangerous to just meditate if we're not clean inside. Omraam mikhaël aïvanhov also mentioned in the books I read by him how important it is to cleanse yourself internally. I don't know if these things are normal, but why does the spiritual development on our present earth level hide risks of going insane when we try to act according to the divine plan?

[AshvinP]

Hey everyone.
What Federica described, I experienced in a similar way.
I try to pray the Lordsprayer every morning before I start the day. Yesterday I fell asleep while praying, but I kept praying. I was active at the beginning of the prayer, bringing up the lines, and then eventually became passive. I was briefly asleep and woke up (became conscious) at the end of the prayer. The frightening thing was that the prayer did not continue as it actually is, but rather evil thoughts took the place of the actual verses. I didn't actively bring up these thoughts, they were there of their own accord. Just writing about this experience is very difficult for me. When I think about it, I panic. I often struggle with negative thoughts. I doubt the correctness of my decision to plunge myself into deep meditation. I can remember martinus saying that it's dangerous to just meditate if we're not clean inside. Omraam mikhaël aïvanhov also mentioned in the books I read by him how important it is to cleanse yourself internally. I don't know if these things are normal, but why does the spiritual development on our present earth level hide risks of going insane when we try to act according to the divine plan?

Hey Guney,

I think it's important to hone in on this insight you share above. It may be relevant to Federica's situation as well. What you are both sharing certainly sounds like distressing experiences, but it's a fine line between these revelations being a curse and a blessing. They are a curse if they remain as something external to us, an evil force inserting itself into our stream of experience out of nowhere. But, on the other hand, if we take the perspective they are revealing oppressive aspects of our own soul-life, as you also suggest above, then they can become blessings. Because there is no chance of cleaning ourselves inside if we don't know, as a living experience, what to clean, or at least to begin with, the sheer depths to which our soul-life has become dirtied. These sorts of experiences make those stains more and more clear to us, as long as we are aware of their internal nature, and for that reason, I don't think we should shy away from them. They can become living feedback for our inner improvement over time, even if we have no idea what they are pointing to at first, which we really can't gain in any other way i.e. by powers of the normal will and intellect.

In that respect, I would like to share a passage from St. John of the Cross and his work, 'The Dark Night of the Soul'. It is mostly referring to the experiences of 'purgatory' after death, but that can also be experienced to some extent during life through initiation.

This is the reason why the illuminating ray of hidden wisdom, when God sends it from Himself into the soul not yet transformed, produces thick darkness in the understanding…The soul, by reason of its impurity, suffers exceedingly when the divine light really shines upon it. And when the rays of this pure light strike upon the soul, in order to expel its impurities, the soul perceives itself to be so unclean and miserable that it seems as if God had set Himself against it, and itself were set against God. So grievous and painful is this feeling—for it thinks now that God has abandoned it—that it was one of the heaviest afflictions of Job during his trial: “Why hast Thou set me contrary to Thee, and I become burdensome to myself?” (Job vii, 20).

A sunbeam coming in by the window is perceived the less distinctly the more pure and free from atoms and motes the air is, but the more of these there are, the more distinct is the beam to the eye. The reason is that we do not see light itself, but by means of it we see the objects on which it falls, and these reflecting it, the light itself becomes a visible object; had it not struck them it would itself remain invisible…Thus this ray of divine contemplation, transcending as it does the natural powers, striking the soul with its divine light, makes it dark, and deprives it of all the natural affections and apprehensions which it previously entertained in its own natural light. Under these circumstances, the soul is left not only in darkness but in emptiness also, as to its powers and desires, both natural and spiritual, and in this emptiness and darkness is purified and enlightened by the divine spiritual light, but it does not imagine that it has it; yea, rather, it thinks itself to be in darkness, as we have said of the sunbeam which, though passing through the middle of the room, cannot be seen if the air is quite pure and there are no objects on which it may fall. However, the spiritual light falling on the soul if there is anything to reflect it, that is, upon any matter, however small, of perfection, which presents itself to the understanding or a decision to be made as to the truth or falsehood of anything, the soul sees it at once, and understands the matter more clearly than it ever did before it entered into this darkness. In the same way the soul discerns the spiritual light which is given it that it may easily recognise its own imperfection…

…the divine fire of contemplative love which, before it unites with, and transforms the soul into itself, purges away all its contrary qualities. It expels its impurities, blackens it and obscures it, and thus its condition is apparently worse than it was before, more impure and offensive. For while the divine purgation is removing all the evil and vicious humours, which, because so deeply rooted and settled in the soul, were neither seen nor felt, but now, in order to (effect) their expulsion and annihilation, are rendered clearly visible in the dim light of the divine contemplation, the soul—though not worse in itself, nor in the sight of God—seeing at last what it never saw before, looks upon itself not only as unworthy of His regard, but even as a loathsome object and that God does loathe it…

…the light of God which illumines an Angel enlightens him, and sets him on fire with love, for he is a spirit already prepared for the infusion of that light; but man, being impure and weak, is ordinarily enlightened, as I said before, in darkness, in distress and pain—the sun’s rays are painful in their light to weak eyes—till the fire of love, purifying him, shall have spiritualised and refined him, so that being made pure he may be able to receive with sweetness, like the Angels, the union of this inflowing love…

(Come to think of it, this passage is quite relevant to Anthony's questions about the OT in the other thread as well)

[Federica]

Federica,

Once we see through the arbitrary spiritual tendency to place the higher Self behind some metaphysical boundary, an impenetrable veil, that simply justifies the lack of any effort and initiative, we have a different sort of understanding to attain and work to do. A more subtle and delicate understanding and work, so to speak. The veil to penetrate is our own soul-life, which is highly personalized and always inclining to evil. It is comprised of Maya conceptions of who we are and how our life unfolds, through and through. There is a kind of helplessness that we should feel in relation to our current personality and all its spiritual strivings. As St. Paul says, 

For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good. Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.

You may remember Eugene was also fond of quoting the above, but he located the source of this resistance in physical genetics (understood materialistically), i.e. in another sort of metaphysical boundary that justifies passive waiting for death to lift the veil. The real source is found within our intimate soul-life that can be worked upon during life, but only with the help of our greater Allies to whom we owe its origins and its development. That includes not only higher divinities such as Angels but also higher human individualities who we could say are halfway between normal humans and Angels. 

Ashvin,

I know that, but thanks for reformulating. The only thing I am not sure I understand is the helplessness we should feel. How should the soul feel helplessness towards itself in relation to the spiritual strivings? My soul feels thankfulness and rightness towards these strivings. There is help to seek, as you say, from the greater Allies, and I am glad I finally came to realize that, in the same way one is glad, appalled and thankful upon realizing that an adversity has been narrowly escaped. Isn’t this almost the opposite of helplessness?

I know that exclusively intellectual means, including the most inspired ones that we encounter in the history of thought, can take us only up to a point in the attempt to pierce through the veil of soul life. I see that. These means fall short of objective grasp, there is an arbitrariness, the Maya conceptions as you say, that can’t be overcome through mere experiencing and reasoning (although it’s my wish to contribute to creatively evolve that). Yet, I have always aspired to piercing through that veil, understanding the larger context of my soul life through self reflection. I remember I was crawling when this started. So this is the one right direction of striving I finally oriented my life towards, which gives continuous meaning to all my life-long dim aspirations, right? I don't fantasize it can be done without Allies, but looking around at what other people do, that’s where I see helplessness.

We should recognize that the goal of meditation is none other than for the Master(s) to 'instill thoughts' into our consciousness (through the central meditation of the Master Christ Jesus). It is fine to say and feel that we are seeking to unite with the higher self, but what does this mean for our striving in a practical context? Here we come back to what Cleric wrote with respect to the Unity of the "I" consisting at the same in a multiplicity of spiritual beings. The higher beings who weave together our I-consciousness are practically above/outside/beyond that I-consciousness we know as 'our own'. He also referenced that in the last post about the practically independent beings of the 'anthill' within our WFT life. 

Yes. This I don’t know well enough. It’s taking me time to adjust to the practical understanding of the inner-outer boundary, or absence thereof, at every level, physical, soul and spiritual, as well as across levels. Much is happening and my perspective is rapidly shifting.

The link of the I-consciousness bestowed through the Christ gift certainly gives us the ability to take initiative, i.e. to act as intelligent agencies steering the stream of becoming into the higher ideals of fully human existence. However, what that initiative has looked like in the horizontal forum of outer culture for the past 2,000 years and how it will be experienced within the vertical forum of our inner consciousness are, in a sense, polar opposites. That is why Tomberg writes:

Before this question can be answered, it is necessary to clarify the concepts of ‘passivity’ and ‘activity’ as applied to spiritual life. The ordinary meaning of these concepts is this: ‘activity’ refers to a consciousness in the state of ‘doing’, and ‘passivity’ refers to a consciousness in the state of ‘suffering’. This standpoint is entirely justified and useful when one has in mind the horizontal, the relationship of the human consciousness to its surroundings. However, if one is considering the vertical, that is, the relation of the incarnated human being to the spiritual world, then this standpoint is no longer valid. Then the opposite is true: the receptive attitude toward the spiritual world, the suffering and waiting, is the active side of the vertically upright consciousness, while the efforts of the will for the purpose of this or that exercise or task of cognition are the passive side. So, for instance, the words Christ Jesus spoke during the hour of Gethsemane: ‘Not my will, but Thy will be done,’ signify the highest possible activity of the vertically-directed consciousness. But this activity is not visible on the horizontal plane of life; there it appears as passive.

He goes on to write how certain coordination of the distinct lower and higher "I" activities become necessary, that is simultaneously active-passive. Steiner has many passages in the context of occult training that express something similar. For ex:

When we want to learn something about another person in the physical world, we go at it in whatever way seems necessary. But this we cannot do with the impression that calls for spirit peacefulness, calmness of soul, and patience. The attitude of soul towards the genuine impressions of the spiritual world is correctly described by saying,

To strive for nothing — wait in peaceful stillness,
one's inner being filled with expectation.
(The Soul's Awakening, Scene 3)

In a certain respect this frame of mind must stream out over the entire soul life in order to approach in the right way its clairvoyant experiences in the spirit.

What we can do is actively prepare the soil of our soul-life through cognitive and moral preparation so it is ready to receive the fructifying higher Spirit who descends into it as an act of Grace. So we should be clear that the intimate experience of higher knowledge is never something we will accomplish merely by working 'from below' upwards, whether through logical reasoning or moral willpower. It is, at the end of the day, continual acts of Grace from above that come to meet our upward striving and thereby render the latter fruitful. 

One could also rightly say that we are awakening to the symphonic co-operations that always take place to lift us out of the lower spheres of existence, even in the context of outer culture. We are never resisting temptations towards animality and such simply through the strength of our own feeling and thinking efforts. It is always seeds planted for us during the liminal periods of sleep that we are able to maintain a basic moral orientation in our waking consciousness, which we can then strengthen by becoming more inwardly aware of how that is actually taking place. In that sense, it is our initiative towards Self-awareness of what is already taking place that resides at the heart of all spiritual striving under the aegis of Christ. But how that higher awareness becomes manifest cannot be understood as only a matter of our own initiative. 

Yes, I see.

[AshvinP]

Federica,

Once we see through the arbitrary spiritual tendency to place the higher Self behind some metaphysical boundary, an impenetrable veil, that simply justifies the lack of any effort and initiative, we have a different sort of understanding to attain and work to do. A more subtle and delicate understanding and work, so to speak. The veil to penetrate is our own soul-life, which is highly personalized and always inclining to evil. It is comprised of Maya conceptions of who we are and how our life unfolds, through and through. There is a kind of helplessness that we should feel in relation to our current personality and all its spiritual strivings. As St. Paul says, 

For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good. Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.

You may remember Eugene was also fond of quoting the above, but he located the source of this resistance in physical genetics (understood materialistically), i.e. in another sort of metaphysical boundary that justifies passive waiting for death to lift the veil. The real source is found within our intimate soul-life that can be worked upon during life, but only with the help of our greater Allies to whom we owe its origins and its development. That includes not only higher divinities such as Angels but also higher human individualities who we could say are halfway between normal humans and Angels. 

Ashvin,

I know that, but thanks for reformulating. The only thing I am not sure I understand is the helplessness we should feel. How should the soul feel helplessness towards itself in relation to the spiritual strivings? My soul feels thankfulness and rightness towards these strivings. There is help to seek, as you say, from the greater Allies, and I am glad I finally came to realize that, in the same way one is glad, appalled and thankful upon realizing that an adversity has been narrowly escaped. Isn’t this almost the opposite of helplessness?

I know that exclusively intellectual means, including the most inspired ones that we encounter in the history of thought, can take us only up to a point in the attempt to pierce through the veil of soul life. I see that. These means fall short of objective grasp, there is an arbitrariness, the Maya conceptions as you say, that can’t be overcome through mere experiencing and reasoning (although it’s my wish to contribute to creatively evolve that). Yet, I have always aspired to piercing through that veil, understanding the larger context of my soul life through self reflection. I remember I was crawling when this started. So this is the one right direction of striving I finally oriented my life towards, which gives continuous meaning to all my life-long dim aspirations, right? I don't fantasize it can be done without Allies, but looking around at what other people do, that’s where I see helplessness.

Federica,

The words we use here will generally fail to capture the depth of meaning we are seeking to convey in relation to an inner orientation. So 'helplessness' perhaps can be misleading when it is understood in certain conventional ways. Perhaps it will help to characterize 'helplessness', in this context, as an inner discernment that the bold statements have not been fully manifested. Every time we feel that we have finally come to realize something, that we have narrowly escaped an adversity, that we have 'seen that', that we have finally oriented our lives, etc. we may also feel that even this feeling is still, in a sense, Maya. Because in the depths of our be-ing there are unsuspected forces that are working to unrealize something, to re-ensnare us in adversity, to disorient our lives, etc. Perhaps those forces are even using our realizations against us, in so far as they are lulling us into a false sense of stability and comfort.

I must say here that the above is not a plea to remain in a state of anxiety, fear, or uncertainty about the proper orientation of our lives on a spiritual path. We should by no means become a deer in the headlights, refusing to take a step in any direction because we are afraid of what may happen next. Rather, I am only speaking of the radical humility that will continuously inspire the power for the proper orientation towards the higher worlds - "blessed are the beggars in spirit". And it should also be said that this humility can become one-sided as well, because there are also times when we need confidence, courage, a sense of empowerment, etc. in our spiritual striving. We need to exert our egoity at times and 'wrestle with God', saying 'I will not let you go until you have blessed me'. As usual, we are seeking to bring the polar opposites into a harmonious balance. That's why I say it is subtle and delicate work.

Now if we faithfully pursue our spiritual training, over time these normally unfathomable depths of resistance will reveal themselves to us, and I am sure you have already experienced intimations of that. So what I am saying here is intended only to help cultivate a stronger inner sense for that in advance. Here is another metaphorical angle from Tomberg on conceiving the harmonious balance between humility and egoity that we seek to establish (or establishing an inner humility that is not one-sided):

The function of a canopy, taken as a material object, is to protect the person who is found beneath it. It therefore serves as a roof. Taken in its spiritual sense, at which one arrives by way of analogy, the canopy above the man wearing a yellow royal crown expresses two contrary things: that the crowned man is a megalomaniac in the condition of “splendid isolation”, separated from heaven by the canopy, or else that the crowned man is an initiate in the mystery of spiritual well-being and that he does not identify himself with heaven, being conscious of the difference which exists between himself and that which is above him. In other words, the canopy indicates the facts and truths underlying humility as well as megalomania. Humility, being the law of spiritual health, implies consciousness of the difference and distance between the centre of human consciousness and the centre of divine consciousness. He has a “skin”—or a canopy, if you wish—in his consciousness (just as the human body has a skin), which separates the human from the Divine, at the same time uniting them. This “spiritual skin” protects the spiritual well-being of man by not allowing him to identify himself ontologically with God, or to say “I am God” (cf. Brhadaranyaka Upanishad 1.4.10: “aham brahmasmi”=“I am Brahma”), but at the same time allowing him the relationship of breathing, coming together and separating (which is never alienation!), which together constitute the life of love. The life of love consists of coming together and separating always with the consciousness present of non-identity: this is analogous to the process of breathing which consists of inhalation and exhalation.

Anonymous . Meditations on the Tarot (pp. 165-166). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

[Federica]

Federica,

The words we use here will generally fail to capture the depth of meaning we are seeking to convey in relation to an inner orientation. So 'helplessness' perhaps can be misleading when it is understood in certain conventional ways. Perhaps it will help to characterize 'helplessness', in this context, as an inner discernment that the bold statements have not been fully manifested. Every time we feel that we have finally come to realize something, that we have narrowly escaped an adversity, that we have 'seen that', that we have finally oriented our lives, etc. we may also feel that even this feeling is still, in a sense, Maya. Because in the depths of our be-ing there are unsuspected forces that are working to unrealize something, to re-ensnare us in adversity, to disorient our lives, etc. Perhaps those forces are even using our realizations against us, in so far as they are lulling us into a false sense of stability and comfort.

I must say here that the above is not a plea to remain in a state of anxiety, fear, or uncertainty about the proper orientation of our lives on a spiritual path. We should by no means become a deer in the headlights, refusing to take a step in any direction because we are afraid of what may happen next. Rather, I am only speaking of the radical humility that will continuously inspire the power for the proper orientation towards the higher worlds - "blessed are the beggars in spirit". And it should also be said that this humility can become one-sided as well, because there are also times when we need confidence, courage, a sense of empowerment, etc. in our spiritual striving. We need to exert our egoity at times and 'wrestle with God', saying 'I will not let you go until you have blessed me'. As usual, we are seeking to bring the polar opposites into a harmonious balance. That's why I say it is subtle and delicate work.

Now if we faithfully pursue our spiritual training, over time these normally unfathomable depths of resistance will reveal themselves to us, and I am sure you have already experienced intimations of that. So what I am saying here is intended only to help cultivate a stronger inner sense for that in advance. Here is another metaphorical angle from Tomberg on conceiving the harmonious balance between humility and egoity that we seek to establish (or establishing an inner humility that is not one-sided):

The function of a canopy, taken as a material object, is to protect the person who is found beneath it. It therefore serves as a roof. Taken in its spiritual sense, at which one arrives by way of analogy, the canopy above the man wearing a yellow royal crown expresses two contrary things: that the crowned man is a megalomaniac in the condition of “splendid isolation”, separated from heaven by the canopy, or else that the crowned man is an initiate in the mystery of spiritual well-being and that he does not identify himself with heaven, being conscious of the difference which exists between himself and that which is above him. In other words, the canopy indicates the facts and truths underlying humility as well as megalomania. Humility, being the law of spiritual health, implies consciousness of the difference and distance between the centre of human consciousness and the centre of divine consciousness. He has a “skin”—or a canopy, if you wish—in his consciousness (just as the human body has a skin), which separates the human from the Divine, at the same time uniting them. This “spiritual skin” protects the spiritual well-being of man by not allowing him to identify himself ontologically with God, or to say “I am God” (cf. Brhadaranyaka Upanishad 1.4.10: “aham brahmasmi”=“I am Brahma”), but at the same time allowing him the relationship of breathing, coming together and separating (which is never alienation!), which together constitute the life of love. The life of love consists of coming together and separating always with the consciousness present of non-identity: this is analogous to the process of breathing which consists of inhalation and exhalation.

Anonymous . Meditations on the Tarot (pp. 165-166). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

All right, understood. Thank you.