Astral Arc (youtube series)

[Federica]

To a certain extent, I suppose that I always knew it was related to the intuitive temporal context that Cleric has illustrated in many places. Of course, these ways of thinking about our stream of becoming (as opposed to standard linear time flow of cause-effects on the physical plane) are so unfamiliar that we will need to rekindle our intuition for it over and over again. I never focused on the Mandala symbol too much or used it for meditation, though. I felt it was too complex for me before and it still is, to some extent. However these latest illustrations have given me a much better feel for it. For ex. when Cleric wrote:

But as Imagination sets in, it is perfectly possible to have an experience where the memory panorama of our life is grasped as something like the above animation where we feel how our present life started to expand from the center (the fertilized egg) and life events arrange themselves as expanding petals

Now I was able to connect the above with what we were discussing in the context of Hermetic astrology, i.e. how the waves of destiny are woven into the etheric body during the embryonic phase and then unfold in rhythmic periods after birth. From birth to age 21, we are recapitulating the stages of involution - the physical body, life body, and desire body are fashioned before the Ego-I fully descends into these vehicles. From 21 to 42, the sentient, intellectual, and spiritual souls are developed. Then after that, we have the opportunity to work on developing the germinal spirit self, life spirit, and spirit man, which is of course what we are aiming to do here with all these exercises and contemplations. A big part of that is purifying the spiritual soul life by deconditioning the intellect from lower passions, prejudices, etc. and turning it towards the high ideals. 

With the Mandala exercise, I am proceeding with Cleric's suggestion for only using the classic symbol of a dot with a circle around it and manipulating that thought-symbol to rotate the 'dials' in opposite directions. We could say the dot is the masculine intellect and the circle is the feminine higher intuitive reasoning. The latter is the wise reasoning that, for ex., perceives something on the road while driving and activates our will to avoid it before it registers to our waking intellect, or that simply knows how to grasp an object without micro-managing the individual joints. I always try to remember that the 'interfering sheets' are above and behind my mind's eye, i.e. they cannot be found anywhere in the volume of my current soul-content of perceptions, feelings, thoughts. Instead, I can only attune my current consciousness to their higher Intents-Ideals, by focusing concentration into the thought-symbol, and patiently wait for the Grace of their attractive pull. Another helpful diagram I came across recently is as follows.





That is the higher "I" situated on the vertical axis connecting with the lower "I" (the two-petalled lotus). The former is oriented towards the supra-sensory future (the interfering sheets) while the latter is observing the sensible past, including the thought-symbol we are meditating on. We could say that, through proper concentration which attunes the lower "I" to the higher "I", the higher "I" perceives the spiritual counter-image of our thought-symbol, i.e. the constellation of spiritual forces that weaved the intuitive temporal context resulting in the black bands of the symbolic pattern. It then transmits this knowledge to the lower "I" and we are able to 'triangulate' some portion of the Time-stream that connects the course of past events to those of the present and the future. In other words, our waking consciousness is able to begin making more sense of our holistic stream of becoming within the intuitive temporal context, i.e. the waves of karmic destiny (and the pull of karmic potential) through which our life unfolds. 

Thanks for this detailed reply, Ashvin. I have also tried to imagine the 2-dial rotation. Not as meditation, only as a brief exercise. I actually struggle to meditate every morning, especially if I have things coming up for work early enough in the morning, and even if I wake up early. In these cases I am unable to create a restful soul foundation and my attention is sucked in by the attracting force of the event to come. Also when I'm traveling, I am unable to meditate. Do you, or anyone else, have tricks for that? Do you set an end-of-meditation alarm?

Regarding the simple mandala, I can only make the 2 dials rotate in opposite senses if they have same rotational speed, otherwise I would lose sight of one. I don't know if it's misleading, but I was thinking that the center was I, with no distinction between higher and lower, because the prospective goal of the meditation is to come to experience their connection anyway, so I would imagine them as unity. And I imagined the larger circle as the context co-shaping the unfolding of events in time. I was not including the larger circle inside my individual activity. For me it reflected the activity perceived as willed by other beings, for example the angel that, on the road, arranged coincidences in a way that spared me a possible accident, rather than the wise reasoning that could have done the same through steering my own will. Maybe there's no big difference. But I was trying to imagine the "wave span" as large as possible between the center and the periphery.

:

[AshvinP]

To a certain extent, I suppose that I always knew it was related to the intuitive temporal context that Cleric has illustrated in many places. Of course, these ways of thinking about our stream of becoming (as opposed to standard linear time flow of cause-effects on the physical plane) are so unfamiliar that we will need to rekindle our intuition for it over and over again. I never focused on the Mandala symbol too much or used it for meditation, though. I felt it was too complex for me before and it still is, to some extent. However these latest illustrations have given me a much better feel for it. For ex. when Cleric wrote:

But as Imagination sets in, it is perfectly possible to have an experience where the memory panorama of our life is grasped as something like the above animation where we feel how our present life started to expand from the center (the fertilized egg) and life events arrange themselves as expanding petals

Now I was able to connect the above with what we were discussing in the context of Hermetic astrology, i.e. how the waves of destiny are woven into the etheric body during the embryonic phase and then unfold in rhythmic periods after birth. From birth to age 21, we are recapitulating the stages of involution - the physical body, life body, and desire body are fashioned before the Ego-I fully descends into these vehicles. From 21 to 42, the sentient, intellectual, and spiritual souls are developed. Then after that, we have the opportunity to work on developing the germinal spirit self, life spirit, and spirit man, which is of course what we are aiming to do here with all these exercises and contemplations. A big part of that is purifying the spiritual soul life by deconditioning the intellect from lower passions, prejudices, etc. and turning it towards the high ideals. 

With the Mandala exercise, I am proceeding with Cleric's suggestion for only using the classic symbol of a dot with a circle around it and manipulating that thought-symbol to rotate the 'dials' in opposite directions. We could say the dot is the masculine intellect and the circle is the feminine higher intuitive reasoning. The latter is the wise reasoning that, for ex., perceives something on the road while driving and activates our will to avoid it before it registers to our waking intellect, or that simply knows how to grasp an object without micro-managing the individual joints. I always try to remember that the 'interfering sheets' are above and behind my mind's eye, i.e. they cannot be found anywhere in the volume of my current soul-content of perceptions, feelings, thoughts. Instead, I can only attune my current consciousness to their higher Intents-Ideals, by focusing concentration into the thought-symbol, and patiently wait for the Grace of their attractive pull. Another helpful diagram I came across recently is as follows.





That is the higher "I" situated on the vertical axis connecting with the lower "I" (the two-petalled lotus). The former is oriented towards the supra-sensory future (the interfering sheets) while the latter is observing the sensible past, including the thought-symbol we are meditating on. We could say that, through proper concentration which attunes the lower "I" to the higher "I", the higher "I" perceives the spiritual counter-image of our thought-symbol, i.e. the constellation of spiritual forces that weaved the intuitive temporal context resulting in the black bands of the symbolic pattern. It then transmits this knowledge to the lower "I" and we are able to 'triangulate' some portion of the Time-stream that connects the course of past events to those of the present and the future. In other words, our waking consciousness is able to begin making more sense of our holistic stream of becoming within the intuitive temporal context, i.e. the waves of karmic destiny (and the pull of karmic potential) through which our life unfolds. 

Thanks for this detailed reply, Ashvin. I have also tried to imagine the 2-dial rotation. Not as meditation, only as a brief exercise. I actually struggle to meditate every morning, especially if I have things coming up for work early enough in the morning, and even if I wake up early. In these cases I am unable to create a restful soul foundation and my attention is sucked in by the attracting force of the event to come. Also when I'm traveling, I am unable to meditate. Do you, or anyone else, have tricks for that? Do you set an end-of-meditation alarm?

Federica,

Usually, early morning is when the meditations go most smoothly for me. When I get a decent night's sleep, that is when I am able to bring the most wakeful concentration. I usually get more distracted by events that have already happened than by those which are still to come.

Steiner recommends that we start certain meditative exercises almost immediately after waking up, before any sensory impressions are allowed to come in. I find that pretty tough, but maybe it will work better for you. Usually, I feel much more prepared for meditation after a shower, washing away 'oppressive' night currents. Right upon waking, though, I always try to say a prayer.

I don't travel much, so that hasn't been an issue for me yet. And I don't set any alarms. It seems the biggest risk is prematurely aborting meditations when we are distracted at first, so maybe it is helpful to set a minimum time of 10-15 min. for a meditative session. Sometimes I will periodically open my eyes, shift around some, and reset the meditation if I am getting too distracted.

Regarding the simple mandala, I can only make the 2 dials rotate in opposite senses if they have same rotational speed, otherwise I would lose sight of one. I don't know if it's misleading, but I was thinking that the center was I, with no distinction between higher and lower, because the prospective goal of the meditation is to come to experience their connection anyway, so I would imagine them as unity. And I imagined the larger circle as the context co-shaping the unfolding of events in time. I was not including the larger circle inside my individual activity. For me it reflected the activity perceived as willed by other beings, for example the angel that, on the road, arranged coincidences in a way that spared me a possible accident, rather than the wise reasoning that could have done the same through steering my own will. Maybe there's no big difference. But I was trying to imagine the "wave span" as large as possible between the center and the periphery.

:

I don't think the prospective goal is to imagine their unity, per se. In fact, I think it is important for us to consider the higher "I" perspectives as something above and beyond/behind our current I-consciousness. It is probably accurate to say the higher "I" is most proximately the activity of our guardian Angel. Clearly, this activity goes beyond the sphere of our normal waking consciousness and, even if we are able to enter imaginative thinking states, that is only a temporary experience of the higher perspective. Our core "I" in our current organization is still attuned mostly to the Earthly context of thoughts, perceptions, feelings, and daily tasks, which is its proper role. Steiner relates how the Angelic perspective, for ex., cannot perceive the mineral kingdom whereas we obviously can. A part of our task is to gain mastery over the mineral forces for the benefit of the Earth's future evolution. So we will need to maintain the distinction between the higher "I" and lower "I" for quite some more time, but we should harmonize their activity so they are seeing in concert (like our left and right eyes) and are able to triangulate how spiritual events feed into the physical domain and vice versa. That is how I understand it, anyway. Perhaps Cleric can shed more light here.

[Federica]

To a certain extent, I suppose that I always knew it was related to the intuitive temporal context that Cleric has illustrated in many places. Of course, these ways of thinking about our stream of becoming (as opposed to standard linear time flow of cause-effects on the physical plane) are so unfamiliar that we will need to rekindle our intuition for it over and over again. I never focused on the Mandala symbol too much or used it for meditation, though. I felt it was too complex for me before and it still is, to some extent. However these latest illustrations have given me a much better feel for it. For ex. when Cleric wrote:





Now I was able to connect the above with what we were discussing in the context of Hermetic astrology, i.e. how the waves of destiny are woven into the etheric body during the embryonic phase and then unfold in rhythmic periods after birth. From birth to age 21, we are recapitulating the stages of involution - the physical body, life body, and desire body are fashioned before the Ego-I fully descends into these vehicles. From 21 to 42, the sentient, intellectual, and spiritual souls are developed. Then after that, we have the opportunity to work on developing the germinal spirit self, life spirit, and spirit man, which is of course what we are aiming to do here with all these exercises and contemplations. A big part of that is purifying the spiritual soul life by deconditioning the intellect from lower passions, prejudices, etc. and turning it towards the high ideals. 

With the Mandala exercise, I am proceeding with Cleric's suggestion for only using the classic symbol of a dot with a circle around it and manipulating that thought-symbol to rotate the 'dials' in opposite directions. We could say the dot is the masculine intellect and the circle is the feminine higher intuitive reasoning. The latter is the wise reasoning that, for ex., perceives something on the road while driving and activates our will to avoid it before it registers to our waking intellect, or that simply knows how to grasp an object without micro-managing the individual joints. I always try to remember that the 'interfering sheets' are above and behind my mind's eye, i.e. they cannot be found anywhere in the volume of my current soul-content of perceptions, feelings, thoughts. Instead, I can only attune my current consciousness to their higher Intents-Ideals, by focusing concentration into the thought-symbol, and patiently wait for the Grace of their attractive pull. Another helpful diagram I came across recently is as follows.





That is the higher "I" situated on the vertical axis connecting with the lower "I" (the two-petalled lotus). The former is oriented towards the supra-sensory future (the interfering sheets) while the latter is observing the sensible past, including the thought-symbol we are meditating on. We could say that, through proper concentration which attunes the lower "I" to the higher "I", the higher "I" perceives the spiritual counter-image of our thought-symbol, i.e. the constellation of spiritual forces that weaved the intuitive temporal context resulting in the black bands of the symbolic pattern. It then transmits this knowledge to the lower "I" and we are able to 'triangulate' some portion of the Time-stream that connects the course of past events to those of the present and the future. In other words, our waking consciousness is able to begin making more sense of our holistic stream of becoming within the intuitive temporal context, i.e. the waves of karmic destiny (and the pull of karmic potential) through which our life unfolds. 

Thanks for this detailed reply, Ashvin. I have also tried to imagine the 2-dial rotation. Not as meditation, only as a brief exercise. I actually struggle to meditate every morning, especially if I have things coming up for work early enough in the morning, and even if I wake up early. In these cases I am unable to create a restful soul foundation and my attention is sucked in by the attracting force of the event to come. Also when I'm traveling, I am unable to meditate. Do you, or anyone else, have tricks for that? Do you set an end-of-meditation alarm?

Federica,

Usually, early morning is when the meditations go most smoothly for me. When I get a decent night's sleep, that is when I am able to bring the most wakeful concentration. I usually get more distracted by events that have already happened than by those which are still to come.

Steiner recommends that we start certain meditative exercises almost immediately after waking up, before any sensory impressions are allowed to come in. I find that pretty tough, but maybe it will work better for you. Usually, I feel much more prepared for meditation after a shower, washing away 'oppressive' night currents. Right upon waking, though, I always try to say a prayer.

I don't travel much, so that hasn't been an issue for me yet. And I don't set any alarms. It seems the biggest risk is prematurely aborting meditations when we are distracted at first, so maybe it is helpful to set a minimum time of 10-15 min. for a meditative session. Sometimes I will periodically open my eyes, shift around some, and reset the meditation if I am getting too distracted.

Regarding the simple mandala, I can only make the 2 dials rotate in opposite senses if they have same rotational speed, otherwise I would lose sight of one. I don't know if it's misleading, but I was thinking that the center was I, with no distinction between higher and lower, because the prospective goal of the meditation is to come to experience their connection anyway, so I would imagine them as unity. And I imagined the larger circle as the context co-shaping the unfolding of events in time. I was not including the larger circle inside my individual activity. For me it reflected the activity perceived as willed by other beings, for example the angel that, on the road, arranged coincidences in a way that spared me a possible accident, rather than the wise reasoning that could have done the same through steering my own will. Maybe there's no big difference. But I was trying to imagine the "wave span" as large as possible between the center and the periphery.

I don't think the prospective goal is to imagine their unity, per se. In fact, I think it is important for us to consider the higher "I" perspectives as something above and beyond/behind our current I-consciousness. It is probably accurate to say the higher "I" is most proximately the activity of our guardian Angel. Clearly, this activity goes beyond the sphere of our normal waking consciousness and, even if we are able to enter imaginative thinking states, that is only a temporary experience of the higher perspective. Our core "I" in our current organization is still attuned mostly to the Earthly context of thoughts, perceptions, feelings, and daily tasks, which is its proper role. Steiner relates how the Angelic perspective, for ex., cannot perceive the mineral kingdom whereas we obviously can. A part of our task is to gain mastery over the mineral forces for the benefit of the Earth's future evolution. So we will need to maintain the distinction between the higher "I" and lower "I" for quite some more time, but we should harmonize their activity so they are seeing in concert (like our left and right eyes) and are able to triangulate how spiritual events feed into the physical domain and vice versa. That is how I understand it, anyway. Perhaps Cleric can shed more light here.

Thanks! I also don't set an alarm, but then I can't relax completely thinking about the agenda, that I could run late, that I shouldn't come to it 'unattuned'. Meditating upon waking up is not a problem for me indeed, that's what I do.

Regarding how to imagine the connection with the higher self, Steiner says to imagine it as a seed form in us, and that our conscious I is a sheath that envelops it. Moreover I meditate on the verse that says: "the Spirit in my heart" and "This Self I am, I am this Self". So, surely I know the higher I is beyond my current I perspective and waking consciousness, still how not to look forward to the unity, how not to imagine that there is a contact to be made? Which does not mean to fool oneself or to be mythomaniac, but only to set an aspiration and a wish, like in a prayer. I am surprised you find it inappropriate.

Today is the Summer Solstice The Swedish word is more evocative of what it really is: Solstånd, "Sun-Stand".

[Cleric K]

I actually struggle to meditate every morning, especially if I have things coming up for work early enough in the morning, and even if I wake up early. In these cases I am unable to create a restful soul foundation and my attention is sucked in by the attracting force of the event to come. Also when I'm traveling, I am unable to meditate. Do you, or anyone else, have tricks for that? Do you set an end-of-meditation alarm?

Here we can distinguish two situations. One is if we're really solving anything about the coming tasks of the day, if we're seeking solutions, weighing alternatives, making decisions and so on. In this case we're really involved in our daily work process (even though the official working hours may still be ahead) - we're already working. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Very often I think about programming solutions for work in my off-work time, even in meditation. Often in that time I can gain a much more panoramic view of the problem and find interesting solutions. It's common that I wake up with some ideas and they take most of my morning meditation time.

So this is the first thing. If we're really caught by a wave of inspiration to solve something for the work in our coming day probably there's no need to resist it.

The other situation is where we simply brood over the coming day in a kind of general anxiety. We don't really solve anything, we don't find any new solutions. Our activity simply buzzes over the images of what is to come, accompanied by dry commentary like "I'll go there, then do that, then I hope I won't screw up that" and so on. If this is the case, we can still turn it into a meditation. The first step is to intellectually acknowledge that we're not really working on some kind of solution to a problem (which could otherwise justify our intellectual efforts). We're simply anxiously attending to the images of the coming day, which can still be considered a way to feel responsible and involved in what we do, instead of being neglectful.

This kind of brooding over the coming day can in many cases turn into a fruitful meditation. As said, the first step would be to convince ourselves that by speaking everything in our mind over and over again we don't add creative solutions, we just try to feel in touch with our responsibilities. Here we can apply 'spiritual Aikido.' There's no need fight against the heavy inertia of these process because we'll most likely be swayed away by them anyway. Instead, we can still attend to the images of the coming day and our responsibilities but transform the way we do that. That is, as in Aikido, we utilize their inertia and simply gently guide it.

One possibility is to do something similar to the retrospective exercise but for the coming day. We can start by simply visualizing calmly the unfolding of our day. We picture ourselves walking out the door, travelling by whatever means, doing our work and so on until we're back with ourselves in the evening. We can picture all these things with calmness and positivity - not being anxious about all the ways things can go wrong but picturing the best path of events.

This best path of events can itself become a picture. We can imagine that path as a tunnel of light through the space we'll be traversing. If we'll be working in a building we can imagine how the tunnel enters the building and fills it with light from within.

Everywhere this light moves there's synchronicity, harmony, frictionless unfolding. This ties very well with your work with the Angelic beings because this tunnel is not in the least up to the strength of our purely human powers. We should always think of this tunnel as a kind of musical negotiation. There are countless destinies that take part in the interference.

It is perfectly fine to imagine this light tunnel through space and time from the side, for example by imagining it from a bird eye view but we should also stay conscious of the fact that this tunnel is a symbol for the metamorphosis of our flow of becoming, where our "I" is always at the center and images of the World transform around us.

Once we move several times back and forth along this tunnel of our day's experiences, we should be able to grasp it as something holistic. At this point we can turn this into a meditation. The whole image of the coming day is like a puzzle-piece in the much greater picture of our life. Now we can hold this image in our consciousness, and begin to infuse it with the Light of the higher worlds. The basic mood is like saying: "At the tip of my intuitive cone I'm holding the image of the coming day, as a puzzle-piece, a light-maze of my daily destiny. This piece doesn't exist in isolation. I desire to make this piece a worthy jewel in the life story that is continuously being written." Then we can make this into a prayer and ask the beings of the hierarchies to flow through us and form the piece according to the Divine plans. Finally, we can transition to concentration, where we hold the image of the daily light-maze, as a simple point-like symbol (the tip of the cone/center of mandala) and just feel with our whole being how from all corners of the Cosmos, the beneficial currents flow into that center. Then we intensively but calmly support this state for as long as appropriate. Here we can mention again about the 'risk' - the symbol of the daily light-maze obviously is not the true structure of Time which we have somehow fitted into our mind. Instead, it is the meaningful anchor point around which our intuitive intents and feelings intensify.

If we succeed in this, it should feel as if we haven't in the least turned away from our responsible brooding over the coming events but have attained to an even more holistic grasp of them. Our intellect will be satisfied that not only we haven't neglected our duties but we have done something even better to ensure their fulfillment. If unsure, we can plainly ask ourselves: am I helping my situation more by anxiously brooding and mumbling over the coming events or by doing something in the way described above?

We can still wonder if all this has anything to do with meditation. It looks like we're engaged in quite worldly affairs in this way instead of detaching towards more lofty regions. And it is true that these meditations are more tightly connected with our secular life but this doesn't mean that we can't experience its spiritual background. In fact, in some respects this is a very valuable approach because right from the start we prepare ourselves to seek spiritual vision that penetrates all the way to the most mundane daily matters.

Another question can be: "But there's nothing spiritual in my job. It's ridiculous to imagine that a trivial work day has any significance for my evolution." But this is absolutely not so. Usually when such an objection is raised it is because we imagine that we have to do some lofty deeds, perform miracles, heal the sick, give e sermon from a hill, in order to consider that a spiritual work. But in reality every second of every day gives us an opportunity to do spiritual work. Even if our job is the most mundane, the way we move, the way we speak, the way we smile - everything can become subtle expression of deeper vibrant life. For those around maybe nothing significant will have changed but we can always infuse our etheric surroundings with the light that we have envisioned in the morning. This is actually a very powerful habit - to bless and infuse with light our environment. We see a small flower on our way to work - we Thank for its beauty and wish that it grows strong and give its fragrance. We see a colleague with troubled face - we innerly smile at them and imagine how they are showered by luminous thoughts and feelings that wash away the dark sticky mood.

These activities feel very natural if from time to time we're able to remember our morning meditation and think to ourselves: "Now I'm moving through the luminous tunnel of my becoming, which I envisioned in the morning. Everything that I imagined and prayed for, now surrounds me as a gentle aura that works into and guides my flow." You might be surprised how powerful such a though can be - of course on the condition that we have worked upon the image in the morning with enough intensity. Even momentary remembering of this can easily sooth our soul.

And of course, in the evening we can go through all these events in retrospect and Thank, Thank, Thank! Our evening meditation could be to merge with the feeling of gratitude concentrated over the image of the light-maze of the past day. This completes the daily circle, so to speak.

Such routines can easily grow into a much more spiritual experience of our daily life. We return each morning from our night's sleep where we've been living in the forgery of destiny and through meditation we gradually harmonize our daily plans with the higher flow. Then we zoom into the flow of daily necessity, yet even in this state, amidst chaos and hurry we can remember our morning experience which connects us with the soothing light tunnel flow.

It is true that through meditation we have to break away from the usual course of our inner life but this doesn't mean that we're lead into a world that has nothing to do with our Earthly affairs. Thinking about our coming day in the described way already breaks away from the usual course (to anxiously brood over the images of the coming day). When we are able to encompass our daily life in such images we're already working towards clairvoyance of our personal life. After all, if this is the life we lead, isn't it to be expected that higher cognition should unveil also something of the Karmic flow of that life?

[Federica]

(...)

Thanks Cleric! Unless I'm wrong, with this post you are bringing completely new insights to the long-running discussions around meditation.

I believe that the transposition of our daily activities in form of a tunnel of light is valuable regardless of the soul state in which we approach the daily work in the morning - be it ingenuous, apprehensive, or other. In this regard, there seems to be a third situation in which we are neither inspired problem solvers, nor anxious ruminators, yet absorbed by the work to come. For me, the two situations you mention may occur occasionally, but more often than not, what occupies my mind ahead of upcoming work is the immersion in the context of the individual or group I am about to meet. It’s not about ideating smart solutions, it’s more like just thinking about them and their world, and taking their needs seriously. So I guess this tunnel of light imagination could be a great way to execute on the same intention I usually follow, in a much more orderly and fluent manner. I simply need to find the motivation to wake up even earlier when needed, so I can set aside time for that, and maybe accept the idea of setting an alarm, because I have a poor sense of the passing of time during meditation.

We can still wonder if all this has anything to do with meditation. It looks like we're engaged in quite worldly affairs in this way instead of detaching towards more lofty regions. And it is true that these meditations are more tightly connected with our secular life but this doesn't mean that we can't experience its spiritual background. In fact, in some respects this is a very valuable approach because right from the start we prepare ourselves to seek spiritual vision that penetrates all the way to the most mundane daily matters.

I understand. It’s not only that we restore the doing capacity in thinking, as with usual meditation, but we also restore the thinking capacity in doing, so we can surf the waves of reality/destiny more cohesively, or clairvoyantly, as you say.

Another question can be: "But there's nothing spiritual in my job. It's ridiculous to imagine that a trivial work day has any significance for my evolution." But this is absolutely not so. Usually when such an objection is raised it is because we imagine that we have to do some lofty deeds, perform miracles, heal the sick, give e sermon from a hill, in order to consider that a spiritual work.

And of course, in the evening we can go through all these events in retrospect and Thank, Thank, Thank! Our evening meditation could be to merge with the feeling of gratitude concentrated over the image of the light-maze of the past day.

What evening meditation?! For this season I will be very happy If I am able to sustain a regular morning meditation.

When we are able to encompass our daily life in such images we're already working towards clairvoyance of our personal life. After all, if this is the life we lead, isn't it to be expected that higher cognition should unveil also something of the Karmic flow of that life?

Yes, hoping that the ability to face that future Karmic vision grows in parallel.

[Federica]

I don't think the prospective goal is to imagine their unity, per se. In fact, I think it is important for us to consider the higher "I" perspectives as something above and beyond/behind our current I-consciousness. It is probably accurate to say the higher "I" is most proximately the activity of our guardian Angel. Clearly, this activity goes beyond the sphere of our normal waking consciousness and, even if we are able to enter imaginative thinking states, that is only a temporary experience of the higher perspective. Our core "I" in our current organization is still attuned mostly to the Earthly context of thoughts, perceptions, feelings, and daily tasks, which is its proper role. Steiner relates how the Angelic perspective, for ex., cannot perceive the mineral kingdom whereas we obviously can. A part of our task is to gain mastery over the mineral forces for the benefit of the Earth's future evolution. So we will need to maintain the distinction between the higher "I" and lower "I" for quite some more time, but we should harmonize their activity so they are seeing in concert (like our left and right eyes) and are able to triangulate how spiritual events feed into the physical domain and vice versa. That is how I understand it, anyway. Perhaps Cleric can shed more light here.

Regarding how to imagine the connection with the higher self, Steiner says to imagine it as a seed form in us, and that our conscious I is a sheath that envelops it. Moreover I meditate on the verse that says: "the Spirit in my heart" and "This Self I am, I am this Self". So, surely I know the higher I is beyond my current I perspective and waking consciousness, still how not to look forward to the unity, how not to imagine that there is a contact to be made? Which does not mean to fool oneself or to be mythomaniac, but only to set an aspiration and a wish, like in a prayer. I am surprised you find it inappropriate.

Ashvin,
I would like to add the quote from Esoteric Lessons here. To be precise, Steiner speaks of kernel, not seed, but it could hardly be more explicit:

One raises one's feeling to the higher self. It's less a matter of telling oneself something theoretically about the higher self, and more of feeling in a very vivid way that one has a higher nature in one. One imagines that the ordinary self surrounds this higher nature like a shell, so that the latter is present in the lower self like its kernel.

Also:

IN THE ALCHEMICAL TRADITION, the highest goal a human being can aspire to is the fertilization, gestation, and birth of a higher person within the soul of the lower human personality. This second birth is known esoterically as the birth of the Spirit Embryo. The first birth is into a body of flesh. Given to us by nature working through our parents, the body of flesh is governed by the laws of nature and returns to nature when we die. This is the natural way of things. Alchemists, however, know of another birth, one that is, as Jung said, a work against nature (opus contra naturam). In the second birth a Spirit Embryo is fertilized and then brought to term by the conscious work of the student."

[Federica]

I would like to ask about unexpected perceptions I have experienced a few times over the last few days. The first times I explained them away. Maybe I had been in a reverie or something. But yesterday it happened again and this time I have paid careful attention (afterwards) I am sure it has happened. It's a very realistic, vivid, and very sudden visual interference, appearing before closed eyes, in the moments that precede falling asleep. It's very striking, not by the content of the picture, but by the very abrupt and sharp appearance of the picture, that cuts into the standard flow of mental imagery, like a jamming, or an old-style TV screen interference. It's almost as if the scorching sound of interference also was there - but this I am not sure, maybe the sound wasn't there. The picture consisted of a sort of golden L-shape on black background, with rounded contours along the L. It could have been the corner of a bigger picture frame. Again the thought-picture in itself was not staggering, but the way it became conscious definitely was. It’s not at all like the normal appearance of a thought-image in the flow of thoughts. It's rather a brutal, completely unexpected, unrelated, forced interference. Should I worry about this?

[AshvinP]

I don't think the prospective goal is to imagine their unity, per se. In fact, I think it is important for us to consider the higher "I" perspectives as something above and beyond/behind our current I-consciousness. It is probably accurate to say the higher "I" is most proximately the activity of our guardian Angel. Clearly, this activity goes beyond the sphere of our normal waking consciousness and, even if we are able to enter imaginative thinking states, that is only a temporary experience of the higher perspective. Our core "I" in our current organization is still attuned mostly to the Earthly context of thoughts, perceptions, feelings, and daily tasks, which is its proper role. Steiner relates how the Angelic perspective, for ex., cannot perceive the mineral kingdom whereas we obviously can. A part of our task is to gain mastery over the mineral forces for the benefit of the Earth's future evolution. So we will need to maintain the distinction between the higher "I" and lower "I" for quite some more time, but we should harmonize their activity so they are seeing in concert (like our left and right eyes) and are able to triangulate how spiritual events feed into the physical domain and vice versa. That is how I understand it, anyway. Perhaps Cleric can shed more light here.

Regarding how to imagine the connection with the higher self, Steiner says to imagine it as a seed form in us, and that our conscious I is a sheath that envelops it. Moreover I meditate on the verse that says: "the Spirit in my heart" and "This Self I am, I am this Self". So, surely I know the higher I is beyond my current I perspective and waking consciousness, still how not to look forward to the unity, how not to imagine that there is a contact to be made? Which does not mean to fool oneself or to be mythomaniac, but only to set an aspiration and a wish, like in a prayer. I am surprised you find it inappropriate.

Ashvin,
I would like to add the quote from Esoteric Lessons here. To be precise, Steiner speaks of kernel, not seed, but it could hardly be more explicit:

One raises one's feeling to the higher self. It's less a matter of telling oneself something theoretically about the higher self, and more of feeling in a very vivid way that one has a higher nature in one. One imagines that the ordinary self surrounds this higher nature like a shell, so that the latter is present in the lower self like its kernel.

Also:

IN THE ALCHEMICAL TRADITION, the highest goal a human being can aspire to is the fertilization, gestation, and birth of a higher person within the soul of the lower human personality. This second birth is known esoterically as the birth of the Spirit Embryo. The first birth is into a body of flesh. Given to us by nature working through our parents, the body of flesh is governed by the laws of nature and returns to nature when we die. This is the natural way of things. Alchemists, however, know of another birth, one that is, as Jung said, a work against nature (opus contra naturam). In the second birth a Spirit Embryo is fertilized and then brought to term by the conscious work of the student."

Federica,

Those are fine ways to characterize the higher Self who is born from within our inner forum of consciousness, but then it's a question of how we feel in our strivings towards it. Sometimes we can get seemingly contradictory characterizations of that feeling. Compare what you quoted from Steiner to this quote (Lecture XX of Foundations of Esotericism):

If one reads ‘Light on the Path’ 55 and meditates upon it, one prepares the astral body in such a way that when the Master imbues the etheric body with lofty thoughts the astral body can actually contact them. This is called the relationship of man to his higher self. Such is the true nature of this process. The higher self of man does not live within us, but around us. The more highly developed individualities are the higher self. Man must be clear that the higher self is outside him. Were he to seek for it within himself, he would never find it. He must seek it with those who have already trodden the path that we wish to tread. Within us is nothing except our karma, what we have already experienced in earlier incarnations. Everything else is outside us. The higher self is around us. If, in preparation for the future, we wish to approach it more closely, we must seek it above all in the company of those individualities who can work during the night on our etheric body. The higher self is in the universe;

Cleric has also spoken of how it approaches our lower personality from an unsuspected, 'orthogonal' direction. It seems to me that is the best inner orientation to adopt - not to imagine it is something entirely beyond our reach, but rather that it will 'impregnate' our lower personality as an act of Grace exactly when we thoughtfully bow down before it as that which is above us. I came across a passage from Tomberg on Inspiration that should also be useful in this connection.

***




Inspiration is the principle acting in tears. Just like weeping, inspiration takes place in the guise of “flowing between two vases”. In inspiration, whatever its true source of origin may be, a flow is active, which is produced between the higher Self or image and the lower self or likeness. Here there is a flow which results from the simultaneous collaboration of the “higher eye” (or “ear”) and the “lower eye” (or “lower ear”). This means to say that higher understanding and lower understanding, being in contact, vibrate in unison, each with its own voice and in terms of its own language, and thus together produce a concrete inspiration.

The “technique” of vision differs from that of inspiration in that in vision it is not a matter of the simultaneous collaboration of two “eyes” (or “ears”)—higher and lower—but rather of the passive imprint that the lower self, alone, receives from above. As it is not a matter of the collaboration of two “understandings”, it can be that the lower self (the personality) experiences a vision without understanding it. It can, therefore, remain incomprehensible for a long time.
...
It is the mystery of tears—and of inspiration—that the fourteenth Arcanum of the Tarot aims at in particular. It is the spiritual exercise dedicated to inspiration. Inspiration, as follows from the whole of the preceding and as is evident from all authentic experience of it, is not something which simply happens, as in the case of vision. Nor is it something which results from the sum total of all efforts at self-sacrifice, mortification, and the reduction of oneself to nothing, as is the case with intuition. Rather, it is a co-activity, the concerted activity of the higher Self and the lower self. It is essentially the flow emanating from two vases at once.

The practical arcanum of inspiration is therefore the knowledge of how to be active and passive at the same time: active—in what concerns the question or demand; passive—in what concerns the answer or solution. It would be false simply to formulate inwardly a question and subsequently assume a passive—though calm and silent—attitude of waiting for an answer through inspiration. One can thus certainly listen and wait for a long time—as a rule, nothing happens. It would be equally false to make a great effort at discursive thought and “divining” imagination so as to force inspiration as if it were a “salary for work done”.

No, it is neither passivity in waiting nor, equally, activity of thought and imagination which realises the state of soul appropriate for inspiration; it is a matter of simultaneous activity and passivity. Let us try to explain.
...
There is, truth to tell, no technique in the intimate and spiritual domain of inspiration—just as no technique exists in the domains of vision and intuition. In these domains everything is essentially moral. For in order to “think together”, one thing before everything else is required—and this is humility. In thinking, in order to “think together”, I have to bow before an intelligence surpassing mine, and to do so not in general terms and in an abstract way but, rather, concretely—by yielding the “author’s exclusive rights” to the anonymous co-thinker. “Thinking together” means to say thinking on one’s knees, i.e. humbling oneself before the other—diminishing oneself so that he may increase. This is thought-prayer or prayer-thought. Neither the concentration exercises of Raja-yoga nor the breathing (and other) exercises of Hatha-yoga will render us inspired. It is humility alone, due to poverty, obedience and chastity—the three universal and eternal vows-which renders us “inspirable”. It cannot be helped…the spiritual world is essentially moral. And inspiration is the fruit of humility in effort and of effort with humility. Ora et labora is therefore the key to the door of inspiration, as it is the key to many other doors besides.

Anonymous . Meditations on the Tarot (p. 391). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

[Federica]

Regarding how to imagine the connection with the higher self, Steiner says to imagine it as a seed form in us, and that our conscious I is a sheath that envelops it. Moreover I meditate on the verse that says: "the Spirit in my heart" and "This Self I am, I am this Self". So, surely I know the higher I is beyond my current I perspective and waking consciousness, still how not to look forward to the unity, how not to imagine that there is a contact to be made? Which does not mean to fool oneself or to be mythomaniac, but only to set an aspiration and a wish, like in a prayer. I am surprised you find it inappropriate.

Ashvin,
I would like to add the quote from Esoteric Lessons here. To be precise, Steiner speaks of kernel, not seed, but it could hardly be more explicit:

One raises one's feeling to the higher self. It's less a matter of telling oneself something theoretically about the higher self, and more of feeling in a very vivid way that one has a higher nature in one. One imagines that the ordinary self surrounds this higher nature like a shell, so that the latter is present in the lower self like its kernel.

Also:

IN THE ALCHEMICAL TRADITION, the highest goal a human being can aspire to is the fertilization, gestation, and birth of a higher person within the soul of the lower human personality. This second birth is known esoterically as the birth of the Spirit Embryo. The first birth is into a body of flesh. Given to us by nature working through our parents, the body of flesh is governed by the laws of nature and returns to nature when we die. This is the natural way of things. Alchemists, however, know of another birth, one that is, as Jung said, a work against nature (opus contra naturam). In the second birth a Spirit Embryo is fertilized and then brought to term by the conscious work of the student."

Federica,

Those are fine ways to characterize the higher Self who is born from within our inner forum of consciousness, but then it's a question of how we feel in our strivings towards it. Sometimes we can get seemingly contradictory characterizations of that feeling. Compare what you quoted from Steiner to this quote (Lecture XX of Foundations of Esotericism):

If one reads ‘Light on the Path’ 55 and meditates upon it, one prepares the astral body in such a way that when the Master imbues the etheric body with lofty thoughts the astral body can actually contact them. This is called the relationship of man to his higher self. Such is the true nature of this process. The higher self of man does not live within us, but around us. The more highly developed individualities are the higher self. Man must be clear that the higher self is outside him. Were he to seek for it within himself, he would never find it. He must seek it with those who have already trodden the path that we wish to tread. Within us is nothing except our karma, what we have already experienced in earlier incarnations. Everything else is outside us. The higher self is around us. If, in preparation for the future, we wish to approach it more closely, we must seek it above all in the company of those individualities who can work during the night on our etheric body. The higher self is in the universe;

Cleric has also spoken of how it approaches our lower personality from an unsuspected, 'orthogonal' direction. It seems to me that is the best inner orientation to adopt - not to imagine it is something entirely beyond our reach, but rather that it will 'impregnate' our lower personality as an act of Grace exactly when we thoughtfully bow down before it as that which is above us. I came across a passage from Tomberg on Inspiration that should also be useful in this connection.

***




Inspiration is the principle acting in tears. Just like weeping, inspiration takes place in the guise of “flowing between two vases”. In inspiration, whatever its true source of origin may be, a flow is active, which is produced between the higher Self or image and the lower self or likeness. Here there is a flow which results from the simultaneous collaboration of the “higher eye” (or “ear”) and the “lower eye” (or “lower ear”). This means to say that higher understanding and lower understanding, being in contact, vibrate in unison, each with its own voice and in terms of its own language, and thus together produce a concrete inspiration.

The “technique” of vision differs from that of inspiration in that in vision it is not a matter of the simultaneous collaboration of two “eyes” (or “ears”)—higher and lower—but rather of the passive imprint that the lower self, alone, receives from above. As it is not a matter of the collaboration of two “understandings”, it can be that the lower self (the personality) experiences a vision without understanding it. It can, therefore, remain incomprehensible for a long time.
...
It is the mystery of tears—and of inspiration—that the fourteenth Arcanum of the Tarot aims at in particular. It is the spiritual exercise dedicated to inspiration. Inspiration, as follows from the whole of the preceding and as is evident from all authentic experience of it, is not something which simply happens, as in the case of vision. Nor is it something which results from the sum total of all efforts at self-sacrifice, mortification, and the reduction of oneself to nothing, as is the case with intuition. Rather, it is a co-activity, the concerted activity of the higher Self and the lower self. It is essentially the flow emanating from two vases at once.

The practical arcanum of inspiration is therefore the knowledge of how to be active and passive at the same time: active—in what concerns the question or demand; passive—in what concerns the answer or solution. It would be false simply to formulate inwardly a question and subsequently assume a passive—though calm and silent—attitude of waiting for an answer through inspiration. One can thus certainly listen and wait for a long time—as a rule, nothing happens. It would be equally false to make a great effort at discursive thought and “divining” imagination so as to force inspiration as if it were a “salary for work done”.

No, it is neither passivity in waiting nor, equally, activity of thought and imagination which realises the state of soul appropriate for inspiration; it is a matter of simultaneous activity and passivity. Let us try to explain.
...
There is, truth to tell, no technique in the intimate and spiritual domain of inspiration—just as no technique exists in the domains of vision and intuition. In these domains everything is essentially moral. For in order to “think together”, one thing before everything else is required—and this is humility. In thinking, in order to “think together”, I have to bow before an intelligence surpassing mine, and to do so not in general terms and in an abstract way but, rather, concretely—by yielding the “author’s exclusive rights” to the anonymous co-thinker. “Thinking together” means to say thinking on one’s knees, i.e. humbling oneself before the other—diminishing oneself so that he may increase. This is thought-prayer or prayer-thought. Neither the concentration exercises of Raja-yoga nor the breathing (and other) exercises of Hatha-yoga will render us inspired. It is humility alone, due to poverty, obedience and chastity—the three universal and eternal vows-which renders us “inspirable”. It cannot be helped…the spiritual world is essentially moral. And inspiration is the fruit of humility in effort and of effort with humility. Ora et labora is therefore the key to the door of inspiration, as it is the key to many other doors besides.

Anonymous . Meditations on the Tarot (p. 391). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Thank you, Ashvin.
It seems that for now this understanding will remain veiled for me. I appreciate the quote from Tomberg, but the meditation on the higher self is the first one recommended by Steiner, I believe, at a point in development when Inspirative cognition has not yet been experienced, presumably. Moreover in the passage you share, Steiner is describing the possibility for a Master to instill thoughts in the bodies of a pupil, while in the passage I shared above, and in the one I am now adding below, he is giving practical recommendations for meditation. So I would imagine these are meant to be particularly clear and unequivocal. Finally, I have a hard time getting a sense of your idea of contact with the higher self happening by Grace, when one of the main themes of walking the Anthroposophic path, is for the free human being to take that initiative, which is also why Christ gifted us the I-consciousness. But, as said, I am not doubting your understanding. I am just saying why it seems off limits for me at this point.

In an esoteric's daily meditations he [the pupil] should keep it in mind that he's mainly trying to get through to his higher self, and he should reflect on what this higher self is. He shouldn't think that he's supposed to bring something to this higher self — he should have an expectant attitude towards him and expect everything from him. Usually there are three ways in which it approaches a pupil on his path. The first way is a rather flitting one and it requires the attentiveness that an esoteric should have for all things. Namely, this is in a dream, and what happens there is what one calls a doubling of the I. For instance, one has a problem or wants to do something. Then someone appears to one in a dream who tells one what to do or who solves the problem, one who is better and cleverer than oneself. One should pay attention to such dreams. Then in the course of development it may happen in helpless moments or at times when one has made a decision that one hears a quiet voice that, for instance, advises one not to do what one has decided on. It's often a decision that one has made with the best knowledge and conscience, and if one follows the voice that nevertheless advises against it, it may seem as if one has done the wrong thing, but in by far the most cases, one will immediately notice that one did the right thing in following the voice. Now, if one practices paying attention to this, one will notice that one has something in one that's higher than one's own reason, that's cleverer than one is oneself. And the third time that one confronts one's higher self is a very important and sacred one. This is during meditation. One will only unite with him for short moments there. But to attain this, one must silence one's whole lower nature. We must eliminate everything that fills us with antipathy or petty feelings for the world and life. In observing himself, a pupil must always keep the polarity law in mind, that is, if he has a bad quality and wants to get rid of it, he must also look for the opposite quality in himself. It's certainly there. The presence of one quality definitely conditions the existence of the opposite one, whether one believes it or not, and this must be eradicated — then the other one also disappears. For instance, if one feels then there's also the polar hate in one, be it ever so hidden, and one has to drive this out. Then the fear disappears by itself. The higher self will only unite with us if such qualities are eradicated in meditational moments.

This union with the higher self is beautifully depicted in the saga of Lohengrin and Elsa. Lohengrin comes to save Elsa, to unite himself with her. Distrust, a negative quality is sown in her soul, and the higher self, Lohengrin, must withdraw to higher worlds, can't unite with her.

Esoteric Lessons I - GA 266

[Cleric K]

I would like to ask about unexpected perceptions I have experienced a few times over the last few days. The first times I explained them away. Maybe I had been in a reverie or something. But yesterday it happened again and this time I have paid careful attention (afterwards) I am sure it has happened. It's a very realistic, vivid, and very sudden visual interference, appearing before closed eyes, in the moments that precede falling asleep. It's very striking, not by the content of the picture, but by the very abrupt and sharp appearance of the picture, that cuts into the standard flow of mental imagery, like a jamming, or an old-style TV screen interference. It's almost as if the scorching sound of interference also was there - but this I am not sure, maybe the sound wasn't there. The picture consisted of a sort of golden L-shape on black background, with rounded contours along the L. It could have been the corner of a bigger picture frame. Again the thought-picture in itself was not staggering, but the way it became conscious definitely was. It’s not at all like the normal appearance of a thought-image in the flow of thoughts. It's rather a brutal, completely unexpected, unrelated, forced interference. Should I worry about this?

If I understand rightly what you describe, you should be prepared for such kinds of experiences to become more often. Of course, they will lose their intrusive character. As a whole, the more we learn to concentrate our thought and relax the periphery, the more we'll feel movement there. This is what we call the loosening of the etheric body, the increase of the leeway in the suit and so on. The characteristic thing is that these movements are quite independent from us. Steiner has often used the analogy that it feels as if we have stuck our head in an anthill - there's movement everywhere which is quite independent from what we think and imagine, and could feel almost overwhelming.

Now this may feel worrying. Do we really want our inner space to be filled with such kind of phenomena? Aren't we simply going crazy in this way? This is actually what happens in some psychiatric conditions when such phenomena break in an abnormal way in the consciousness of the person. They may describe that bugs are crawling under their skin, that they are surrounded by rats and what not.

All of this is of course avoided when we approach the experiences through proper education and exercises. First we have to understand that experiencing such phenomena is to be expected. If we think about it, in our body, in our cells, continuously happen countless biological processes, which surpass in complexity the anthill. All of these processes happen quite independently. We do bend their configuration space with our activity in our "I" and soul body but as a whole they are independent beings. For this reason, when the etheric body is loosened it can only be expected that phenomena will make their appearance which are quite independent and could feel intrusive compared to the way we are used to feel our private thoughts and imagination. It is enough to imagine how more and more of the hidden neural and biological activities in the brain begin to somehow impress in our consciousness to realize how unaccustomed we are for such things to happen in our inner space (where we generally admit independent things only through the senses, while TFW we're used to feel as strictly our own).

Proper training ensures that this loosening of the etheric body won't turn into a psychiatric condition because we're continuously working on strengthening our spiritual core. Basically, in meditation we should learn to keep our concentration and relax the anthill which will feel to become larger and more dynamic. We should keep the idea that this is the environment that is always present in the background but normally our cognition is attuned to the much cruder phenomena of sense perceptions.

Here's a hint. These images won't be perceived if we stare in our imagination and try to see something. The reason is that even if we don't notice it, the inner gestures that we employ are directed to our physical eyes. We can actually feel eye fatigue soon after trying to see something in this way. If we observe ourselves we'll sense that we're using our eye muscles and trying to focus even though our eyes may be closed.

To attain to the other kind of images, the easiest way is to relax the eyes. As a general rule, we can always relax some part of the body through imaginatively breathing out through it. Breathing in is coming together, concentrating, forming, breathing out is letting go, relaxing. So we can breath in and as we very slowly exhale we imagine how all muscle tension dissipates and flows out. We can do this for the face too. Our face is a very immediate expression of our soul life and we are rarely conscious how our spiritual activity is locked in our grimaces. By breathing out and relaxing, we can loosen our face mask too. I intended to write a separate post on this but I'll mention it only in passing - we can experiment how our whole meditative state is affected if we flow through our face a very gentle smile. It's not necessary that it even reaches the physical muscles - it's only a subtle intent flowing from our inner being. There's more to be said about this but for the time being it's just an interesting observation to notice how sometimes in meditation we have a very serious face (and serious not in the positive, constructive sense). If we succeed in relaxing the face and subtly intend this higher spiritual smile, almost by itself our inner experience in the head will feel to become luminous. (just as a hint, this smile shouldn't feel as self-indulgent smile of pleasure of our lower self but almost as if the smile of a parent passes through us, who is willing to endure our imperfections while we grow up. It's a smile of patience and faith.)

The more we relax our eyes, the face and the whole head actually, the more we'll feel this anthill, which initially is nothing else but the tingling sensation that we normally get in relaxation. As we keep our concentration in the floating eye and relax the physical eyes and the whole head, after some time we may feel that this tingling becomes more structured, more like pictures, and may move in unexpected ways not unlike what you describe. The secret here is not to sink back into our physical eyes and try to stare at the images. The longer we can sustain this state, the more living this environment shall become. If we decide to stare in that, we are quickly sucked into our face mask and eyes and, the images disappear and we're left with the memory flash of something, for example the L shape that you describe, although it can be a much more complete image.