Federica wrote: ↑Fri Feb 09, 2024 1:59 pm
I'm sure we can all sense the immediate and powerful truth in what Ashvin said: there will be
immense regret. This is not only applicable to whomever secretly refuses agency and responsibility. Even after we have understood the importance of honoring the great chance of our life on Earth to approach consciousness of our true self, the regret is felt, in anticipation.
We intimately know that every time we let ourselves go with the flow, everytime we overestimate the relevance of our physical presence, body, environment, awarding it with centrality, everytime we act from within our impaired now-vision, desiccated and wrinkled by the dryness of sensory life, every time we think, feel and act as if everything around us were static and were to remain forever static, we already, almost imperceptibly, but still distinctly, regret it, because we are procrastinating the necessity to make our existence worthy of the humanity we have been gifted with, thereby missing concrete steps of progression, despite we perfectly know they are due.
If we try for a moment to expand our now-vision to encompass the time of our physical death, we can really pay a visit to the feeling of scorching regret. I'm sure we all sense how this is true. It's not a difficult exercise. We are speaking of a very graspable time span. It's enough to recollect and hold in consciousness the past decade of our life, and copy it into the future a quite small and figurable number of times. Then we only need to triangulate with the current pace of our work...
I want to add something positive about regret. I think that the more we strive to become present in our whole lifespan, extending our attention into the future all the way towards the time of physical death, and the more we try to prefigure the regret we
could feel at passing if we move along our eventlines with overindulgence towards sensory pleasures and lazy approach to spiritual work, the more we become enabled to free our
current experience from regret, when looking back at the past day before sleep, for example. Then - however failed the past day may appear - we can feel confident that we are steering our flow of becoming, within the collective fluid of becoming, along its best possible trajectory. We can also accept any drawbacks more gracefully.
Steiner wrote:We should never let a feeling of regret arise when we let the pictures of the day pass by us in reverse order. We shouldn't wish that we had been better, we should want to get better. We should think: I couldn't do otherwise back then, but now I can do it better and I will do it better in the future. With every experience we should ask: Did I do it right; couldn't I have done it better? We should look at ourselves as a stranger, as if we looked at and criticized ourselves from outside. It's very important to be able to remember little details in our daily life. A general who won a big battle has a picture of it before his eyes that evening. But he forgot how he put his boots on and took them off again. If we see ourselves walking down a street we should try to remember how the rows of house ran, which store windows we passed, the people we met, how they and we looked. Then we see ourself going into a store and we recall which sales lady came towards us, what she had on, how she spoke, moved, etc. We must make a big effort to recall such details, and this strengthens the soul's forces.
With practice, one can get to the point where the whole day's life runs through the soul, clear as wall paintings with all details in five minutes. This exercise is useless for someone who runs through the day superficially and just registers the events colorlessly. If a man walks a stretch and wants to bring this back he can stand still and try to remember what's behind him. Or he can turn around and look at where he's gone. If a period of time has passed we can initially only recall this with our memory and can't look back at the period of time that has elapsed. But this looking back that we only know in connection with space is also possible in time, and we learn to do it by trying to let the last day pass before us as clearly as possible in perceptible pictures. No event of the past is entirely gone, they're all there in the Akashic record. This is the only way one learns to read it. Initially one only sees things that concern oneself from this, and gradually also other things. That's why the evening retrospect is such an important, indispensable exercise.
And this is another translation of the same passage (from
Steiner Wiki), with some relevant differences:
Steiner wrote:we must never let a feeling of regret arise. Regret is always selfish. Anyone who regrets wishes they had been better, they have a completely selfish wish. We should not want to have been better, but rather want to become better. We should learn from our daily life. If we have done something badly, we should not regret it, but rather think: I couldn't have done anything differently back then, but now I can do it better and want to do it better in the future. With every day's experience we should ask ourselves: Did I do it right, couldn't I have done it better? You will always find that you could have done it more correctly. One more thing is very important: that we learn to look at ourselves like a stranger, as if we were looking at and criticizing ourselves from the outside. In general, we should get as clear an idea as possible of daily life. It is much more important to be able to remember small details than important events. A general who has fought a major battle has the image of the battle before his eyes in the evening. This sticks itself in his soul. But he no longer remembers all the little details of the day, such as how he put on and took off his boots. And what's important is that we get as complete a picture of the day as possible. For example, we see ourselves walking across the street, trying to remember how the rows of houses ran, which shop windows we passed, which people we met, what they looked like, what we ourselves looked like; Then we see ourselves going into a store and remember which saleswoman came towards us, what she was wearing, how she spoke, moved, etc. We have to make a lot of effort with such small details, and this strengthens the strength of the soul.
You don't have to think that it will take you an hour. At first you will remember only a little and then gradually, with great effort, you will remember more and more. Ultimately, however, through practice you can get the whole day's life like murals clearly and with all the details in five minutes through your soul. But one must strive patiently. If you just quickly repeat the events of the day and just register them in a colorless way, this exercise is of no use at all.
What this exercise is intended to achieve is the following. If a person has made a long journey and at the end of the journey he would like to recognize once again the distance he has covered, he can do this in two ways. Firstly, he can stand with his back turned to the part of the path he has traveled and try to remember what is behind him. But he can also turn around and look over the part of the path [travelled]. If we have now passed a period of time, we can initially only remember it with our memory and cannot look back at the period of time that has passed. But this looking back, which we only know from space, is also possible in time, and we learn it by trying to let the past day pass before us as clearly and visually as possible. No event of the past is completely gone, they are all still there. They are there in what we call the Akashic Records. You can only learn to read them this way. At first you only recognize what concerns you, and gradually other things too. That's why evening review is such an important, essential exercise.
So the difference between not doing the reverse review exercise and doing it, is the same difference between trying to remember the physical path behind us, if we are taking a stroll, and turning around and looking at it.
